Blackout

The last few weeks have been very heavy on my heart and in my head. I'm sure it's been the same way for most of you. I've spent a lot of time immersed in Instagram looking at Black activist's pages and soaking in a lot of information and being silent. 

I feel cautiously optimistic that maybe we are really on the cusp of something huge for our society that will impact generations to come. I so hope we are! 

I've had a goal the last 2 years to read books specifically about anti-racism and books written by POC {people of color}. But past reading and talking with friends and having discussions with Trent, I hadn't really DONE anything {although working with our children is something all parents need to be doing, so I am not discounting that}. I don't intend to use my blog as a way to pat myself on my back for the work I do but as a way to keep myself accountable and also {hopefully} exchange ideas with you guys of things you're doing. 

I have 2 main reasons I didn't do any actual work the past few years - 1) I was confused about what to actually DO and 2) I was scared I would mess up - say the wrong thing, speak when I shouldn't, etc. Over the past couple of weeks I've realized I don't have to {and can't} solve all the problems in 1 day or do it alone, so getting started and taking my first steps is doing something, and I've realized I AM going to mess up - it's going to happen and what I need to do is remain humble and it'll be a good chance to practice apologizing the right way ha.

Later this week or maybe next week, I plan to post about the things I have done to-date and things I plan to do in the future. I hope you will leave some comments with suggestions so that we can all learn and grow together! I also have some other thoughts I'm figuring out how to put into words...not quite there yet but hopefully soon!

I really hope we can grow as people, as a society, as a global village to make our world a better place, and I'm committed to doing my part!

Acknowledging Racism

Well guys. I went and did it. I perpetuated racism and didn't realize it, and I am writing this to acknowledge it, apologize for it, and work to do better.

Gone With the Wind is a racist book, and I had no clue. 

I did a post a few months back sharing my top 10 favorite books of all time, and Gone With the Wind has held the top spot on my list since I was 16. Erika commented on that post and said {in portion} 'Now that more time has passed and I'm a little more aware of the problematic depictions and tropes in the book, I question whether I would still enjoy it as much if I read it.' I had NEVER once thought about that, and honestly, at the time didn't give it much thought. Erika and I emailed a little about it, and I didn't change my mind about the book and went about my merry way.

Then another black man was murdered for being black {Ahmaud Arbery}. And I saw a very thought-provoking post on IG by @blackcoffeewithwhitefriends. I'm going to type it here because it was that impactful. 

The New York Times ran a piece called 'What We Know About the Shooting Death of Ahmaud Arbery'. But here is what I know:

1) He's dead because our country has never made amends for millions of black lives snuffed out by chattel slavery, lynchings, the criminal justice system, vigilante injustice, stop n frisk, war on drugs.

2) He's dead because Becky and Karen's fragile feelings matter more than justice.

3) He's dead because Thomas Jefferson and George Washington can still be someone's favorite president, and...

4) Gone With the Wind can still be someone's favorite movie.

5) He's dead because Confederate soldiers were pardoned and honored with holidays, monuments, and parks in the 1880s and 1980s.

6) He's dead because Abraham Lincoln and LBJ are seen as liberators not complicated white men who happened to be politicians.

7) He's dead because Birth of a Nation was screened at the White House and praised by President Wilson.

8) He's dead because 'Make America Great Again' isn't a slogan but a weapon.

9) He's dead because George Zimmerman is free.

10) He's dead because 'I don't see color' is a valid reason to chant 'All Lives Matter', and 'Blue Lives Matter', and 'White Lives Matter'.

11) He's dead because, 'There were very fine people on both sides.'

12) He's dead because the Confederate flag can be a hat, a bumper sticker, a t-shirt, a blanket.

13) He's dead because plantations are wedding venues.

14) He's dead because thousands can cheer, 'Send her back!!!!!'

15) He's dead because the white church says nothing and will not say his name, or Trayvon's, Sandra's, or Freddie's, like it never said Emmett's, Addie Mae's, Cynthia's, Carole's, or Carol Denise's.

16) He's dead because we had a black president and we're even, so let's not talk about race anymore.

...there was a little more, but you can see that this is a lot to think about and process. As I read it and saw #4, my heart stopped. WHAT? In my head I did a lot of sputtering 'No, GWTW isn't racist.' 'Okay, this said the movie, but surely that doesn't mean the book.' 'Let me google...ooooh this doesn't look good.' I tried to make excuses in my head, I felt really embarrassed, and I basically behaved like the entitled white woman that I am. The small upside is all of this happened in my own head.

Then I put on my big girl pants and thought about this critically trying to use things I learned in White Fragility - and I did a few things. I asked a {white} friend her opinion {it isn't a POC's job to teach me}, I thought about what I read about the stereotypes {the 'happy' slave} in the book and what it does for the anti-racist narrative {nothing}. And it dawned on me in utter embarrassment - this book is racist. 

How am I a 39-year-old woman who reads multiple books a year about anti-racism and claims to be raising her children to do better...and my favorite book is racist?

And not that this acknowledgement is much in the scheme of things - I don't have a big blog following so I love you guys but a million people won't see this - but every little thing I do adds up. And I need to take ownership for my behavior.

I am sorry for my racism. I have removed Gone With the Wind from my favorite book list. I apologized to a friend I recently recommended the book to. I will do better.

My Not-Resolution Resolutions

I really liked what Amanda said about resolutions - I basically want to set goals that I can actually achieve. I mean I have a job, a husband, 2 kids...we're lucky I can get dressed some days {grin}. Do I need to eat better, lose weight, exercise more? Sure! Do I need to be more organized? For sure. But given after 10 years of marriage I'm STILL needing to do those things, let's just call those life goals and move on, mmm-kay?

So what would I legitimately like to achieve this year? So glad you asked!

1. Take more pictures as a family. When going to make our 2014 Christmas card, I found one picture of our family taken in the whole year. I would like to do a better job of actually documenting events with family photos. This includes having professional family photos taken.

2. Start my doula training program. I need to decide which training program I want to do and just bite the bullet. I don't know why I have been nervous to do it (probably because it's expensive).

3. Expand my literary selection. I read several 2014 book reviews and found a lot of common books I'd never heard of! Our book club has helped me branch out some, but I need to go outside my comfort zone a little more. I'd like to also add a few more educational books related to kids and all things doula-related.

And for real...that's it! Let's do it!

{Real} Food

So I need to be honest here.  Back in June, I blogged about wanting to eat better. That lasted for all of a few days. Sigh. 

I'm so embarrassed and mad at myself. 

I consume information about our health. I am learning every day about natural ways to treat my kids' illnesses, I am no longer using shampoo, I make my own handsoap, use special detergents/cleaners {or make my own}...yet I eat terrible.

I believe that food is fuel for our body. I believe that food is medicine. If we are eating right, our bodies are strong. Right now, my body is sad. I am tired and lethargic. I use sugar, fat, and {somewhat} caffeine to keep me going. Bad food is my crutch. Now...to be fair to myself...I am going on 8+ months of not good sleep {or maybe just to give myself an excuse}. And sugar and crap food make me happy, ha. #sadbuttrue

I believe that processed food/sugar is so addictive, and I am an addict. I believe GMOs, preservatives, additives, etc. are poison and are making our country sick and fat. Yet I knowingly put them in my body everyday. It is a sickness.

Drew is eating 90% organic food. She is eating {so far} only fruits, vegetables, and eggs. {Except for that 1 Annie's bunny cracker she got off the floor.} Yet I eat candy, cookies, cake, soda, chais, crackers in front of her. What am I teaching her impressionable little mind? We are finally making progress with Trent's food battles, but it has been such a huge mountain to climb. {Yesterday I celebrated him eating 4 baby carrots.}

So...enough bashing of myself and onto my new plan. I am going to take the 100 Days of Real Food pledge by doing their mini-challenge which consists of 14 weeks of mini-pledges. I am going to blog each week what that week's pledge is and my plan. Then I will be accountable for my actions and tell y'all how I did. 

I think part of my problem is it seems so simple yet so overwhelming. I am so scatter-brained normally and 2-kids-husband-job-house-living is just kicking my butt right now. But I think with these mini-goals and some prep I can do it. 

So check back on Monday for my first mini-challenge. I promise I will be honest about how it goes - good, bad or ugly. {grin}

Anyone interested in trying it with me?

And because these guys are so much more fun than my mindless ramblings...

The Beginnings of a Plan...

I have a long post in my head about food and how I WANT to be eating. I am making so many changes in my/our life to overall be healthier and treat our bodies better - from toothpaste to shampoo to detergent, from vitamins and supplements... You get the picture. Where I am failing miserably is probably the most important part - my diet! But it's very hard and overwhelming to try and make a complete 180, so I've decided to take some baby steps, and I want to blog about it, so I'll be accountable! 

My long-term goal (and eventually I want to write my post to explain WHY I want to do all this) is to be eating very little processed food, having fast food and Starbucks be a RARE treat, eating all non-GMO foods (as best I can), eating as much organic as possible and lots more fruits and veggies than I currently eat.

So...for the rest of June, I have the following goals:

1. No fast food for the rest of the month...okay maybe one time. {grin} Make smart choices when eating out.
2. No more than 2 chai lattes/week.
3. Cook dinner 2 times/week every week. {So pathetic that this is a goal.}
4. Eat 2 fruits and 1 vegetable every day. {Going to grow from here! And again...pathetic.}

Project 52 - 2012 Edition

Friends, I have not been keeping you in suspense on purpose.  {I know you are all DYING to hear my goals for the year.}  I was SICK.  Happens about once a year, and this time was awful.  101 fever, thought it was the flu.  A trip to urgent care yesterday morning cleared that up - ear infection, sinus infection and general yuckiness.  3 prescriptions later and I feel like a new woman.  Brent had a great laugh when I was explaining to the doctor that I took a homeopathic flu vaccine...thank goodness I don't have the flu.  I would never recover from the embarrassment!  Now...onto Project 52!

1. Don't be such a homebody
   
2. Try fish once per month
3. Try (again) to learn how to play the guitar - one song is all I want!
4. Try (again) to learn how to sew
5. Take a photography class
6. Volunteer
7. Make a will
8. Eat like a vegetarian
9. Try 3 new things with Trent
10. Take Trent to a movie
11. Lose these last 10+ pounds
12. Try Zumba
13. By the end of the year, still be using gym membership
14. Take a trip out of state
15. Try a new restaurant
16. Go to the farmer’s market
17. Go to a dairy and buy/try raw milk
18. Date night once a month
19. Finish Trent’s baby book
20. Workout on a regular basis (as a part of monthly goals)
21. Build our savings account back up
22. Break Trent’s ‘night-night’ habit
23. Try 5 new recipes
24. Meet 1 blog friend
25. Learn to like unsweetened tea
26. No more artificial sweetener!
27. Take a CPR class
28. Give up cheese for Lent
29. Visit a state I’ve never been to
30. Have fresh flowers in the house more often
31. Go to the midnight premiere of The Hunger Games
32. Use my Deceptively Delicious cookbook every month
33. Reread all 7 Harry Potter books
34. Rewatch all 8 Harry Potter movies
35. Work on Trent’s hitting/throwing habit
36. Do something special for our anniversary (October 16)
37. Better outside Christmas decorations
38. Have Trent swimming by the end of summer
39. Reduce my work %
40. Be better with my skin care
41. Start juicing
42. Figure out how I want to organize our family photos
43. Organize said family photos
44. Donate blood
45. Spend more time in the evening with Brent (unplug from the computer)
46. Try taking Trent to a restaurant again
47. Stretch
48. Try new foods
49. Learn more about finances/see a financial planner
50. Get pregnant
51. Clean out kitchen drawers
52. Donate $5 for each goal not met

And I can already cross off #12!  Go me!

On a side note (because I'm having heart palpitations and sweating), related to #35, I put my son straight to bed for hitting me tonight, 26 minutes ago.  He is still in his room crying for me.  "Mommy, I need you."  I told him I wasn't coming back if he hit me, and he did.  I know I'm doing the right thing, but oh. my. gosh.  The urge to go in there and snuggle with him and give him a dang night-night is SO strong.  But hey, maybe I can achieve #22 at the same time.  Here's hoping!


So there you have it!  Cheers to a stronger 2012!

2011 Project 52 FINAL Results

I am apparently very wishy-washy and have decided to do Project 52 again, even though my list right now has 3 things on it. {grin}  To start the year out right, and to show I am nothing if not completely honest...here's how 2011 ended.


Completed
Failed...Boo!

1. Create (read: pay someone to create) a header for my blog.
2. Eat a tomato (this one is for K-Dub).
3. See all movies nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars.
4. Save money to buy a Canon Rebel. Although I will be buying it in January!!  SQUEEEE!
5. Take a photography class.
6. Get back to pre-baby body (or as close to it as possible).
7. Have a girls’ weekend.
8. Run at least 1 5K.
9. Finally finish Jane Eyre (I’ve started it twice).
10. Create 'pages' on blog.
11. Purge our house of excess clutter.
12. Start Trent’s college fund. Pathetic.  But I am also doing this in January.
13. Organize photos.
14. Finally learn to sew (lessons from mother-in-law).
15. Try ‘My Fit Foods’.
16. Spend some time in my flower beds.
17. Volunteer. How lame do you have to be to not even volunteer once?
18. Continue learning guitar (or more like re-start). So 2 years in a row on this one.  Boo.
19. Take Trent to the San Antonio Austin Zoo.
20. Make more dinners for our family.
21. Create a budget.
22. Make a will.
23. Visit the World of Harry Potter.24. Go on more dates with Brent.
25. Do something ‘Austin’-y.
26. Use my crock pot at least once a month.
27. Less bad eating!
28. Have a guest blogger (and someone who is not an IRL friend).
29. Get moving again.
30. Eat like a vegetarian for a week (or at least a weekend).
31. Cut back on Starbucks.
32. Go to 1 live concert.
33. Do something creative w/ Trent (like Children’s museum) at least 1 time per month.
34. Wear more of my ‘fun’ jewelry.
35. Try 1 new recipe per month.
36. Comment more on other blogs.
37. Buy leggings/tights (and wear them).
38. Make blog more fun!
39. Get more followers (hope #38 will help entice people). {Started Project 52 with 53 followers.}
40. Add some decorations in the house (some of our house doesn’t feel finished to me).
41. Spend lots of time with my new niece or nephew and take some of the burden away from my sister.
42. Do something fun for our anniversary (October 16).
43. Try Bikhram yoga.
44. Read 1 classic (other than Jane Eyre), 1 non-fiction book and 1 biography.
45. Finish combining our bank accounts.
46. Finish ordering professional pictures (maternity, newborn and Trent’s 1-year).
47. Hang Christmas lights myself and get something for the yard (but NOT a blow-up decoration).
48. Get a bounce house for Trent’s birthday.
49. Don’t be so scared about having Trent spend the night other places.
50. Attend the Texas Book Festival with Allison.
51. Go to at least 1 Aggie sporting event.
52. Pay $5 to a children’s charity for each goal not completed.


That's TWENTY of 52 goals I didn't complete meaning $100 to charity.  I crossed that off but haven't done yet, but trust me, I will!


I'll post my 2012 list when I have it ready, right now I only have 3 things on it, but I see some of 2011's coming back for another go-round.  Ha!


Happy now, Allison?

2011 - The Rundown

2011 was a new year for us.  We made a few big changes, which were scary, but we knew they were the right ones for us.  Brent quit his job at the state after 7 years to venture out into a commission only job.  At the same time, I went from a full-time auditor to a 90% of full-time auditor.  Both meant a reduction in income.  But they meant more time as a family!  It's been a stressful year but a really good year too!  I can't wait to see what 2012 has in store.  As dorky  as it sounds, I am so excited for a new year!  But before we get to 2012, I wanted to look back on 2011.


I tried Project 52 and pretty much failed.  But I had fun doing it and plan to do it or something like it again.  Katie posted monthly goals.  That might be better.  We'll see...  I'm marinating.


I got a new car, but not because I wanted to.  So thankful for health in 2011!


I also got a niece!  Man oh man, do I love my Baby Girl!


My little guy turned TWO.  We had a rockin' birthday party!


I learned I love cake decorating.


My uncle passed away.  Mortality is a bitch.


I got really into natural medicine.  Brent hates me.


I joined twitter!


I celebrated 7 years of marriage to my wonderful husband.


Trent moved up to a big boy bed and got potty trained!


Where I feel like I didn't do so good was my overall goal of organization.  I had good weeks and bad weeks, but I know this will be my struggle for life, so I'm proud that I kept trying all year.  We also stopped having a cleaning lady come this summer, and that has not helped, but I'm working on that too.  


I am also pretty disappointed in my lack of willpower in losing the last of the baby weight.  But, totally cliche I know, I joined a gym this week.  2012 is going to be the year I am not grossed out anymore!


Looking back on the year, I think I did more than I realized.  It was a good year, my heart is full. {grin}

My Closet

It's a little embarrassing to share my 'Before' pictures of my closet, but it's so worth it to be able to show my 'After'! {To see the other closets I've attacked so far, click HERE. For some ramblings about decluttering, click HERE.}

Before - Yes, I am messy.

A close-up of all the cr@p on the floor!

Ahhh...clean AND organized!

Now the hard part...keeping it that way!

Project 52 - June Update

For the full list, click HERE.

6. Get back to pre-baby body (or as close to it as possible). & 29. Get moving again. - I started a boot camp this month!  {However eating root beer floats aren't pretty much the opposite of what I should be doing!}

11. Purge our house of excess clutter. - Yup!  Started.

18. Continue learning guitar (or more like re-start). - Restarted, we'll see where it goes...
 
40. Add some decorations in the house (some of our house doesn’t feel finished to me). - Did a lot this month (why do I always wait until Trent's birthday?) but will post pictures when I finish - one more big project to go.
 
41. Spend lots of time with my new niece or nephew and take some of the burden away from my sister. - I felt like I wasn't doing much, but Patty said I was a big help, so I'm considering this one a success.  Or as much of a success as it can be when I still have my own toddler to care for!

46. Finish ordering professional pictures (maternity, newborn and Trent’s 1-year). - Finally! 

My one failure:
 48. Get a bounce house for Trent’s birthday. - There were only going to be 3 kids (not counting Blair) at the party so we decided it wasn't worth the $$. 

Pretty proud of this month!!

Decluttering: Before and After (Part 1)

Picasa will still not recognize that these pictures are on my camera, so I can't make fun collages of all angles of these rooms.  {I'm sure you're devastated, dear readers.}  So we'll have to settle for 1 before and 1 after.  Also, my closet is the best before and after, but I can't find the cord for the camera.  Sigh.  I thought decluttering meant this wouldn't happen.  I guess not when you're me!

Office/catch-all-room closet - BEFORE

Office/catch-all-room closet - AFTER

Kitchen pantry - BEFORE

Kitchen pantry - AFTER

Did you know Jolly Rancers could start to leak like this?  Crazy!

The pile of boxes I was able to recycle from the pantry.  EMBARRASSING!

Overflowing basket of books.  Even too much for this bookworm!

All these went to the public library!



Ahhh...this feels great!  I don't feel done by any means, and I do think I could go through these same areas again and get more stuff out (and I want to), but it's nice to have made the first step!

Decluttering Lessons Learned (So Far)...

One of my Project 52 goals is to 'Purge our house of excess clutter.'  My resolution for 2011 was all about organization.  One of the things I love about Trent's birthday is it spurs me to get projects done around the house before his party. {grin}  I started a list this week of the closets/cabinets/rooms I wanted to clean out before T's party.  Today I started!  (And of course pictures will be forthcoming of my successes.  I already made Brent look at each space.  Yes, I want praise, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.)  What have I learned so far?

• Keeping your co-worker's cookware from when you had your almost TWO-year-old is unacceptable and embarrassing (sorry, Veronica, I'll bring it to the office on Monday).
• Weddings presents that remain unopened (from our almost SEVEN year marriage) need to be given away.
• I have a lot of cups, plates, napkins, etc. from various parties I've thrown.  A LOT.  Like I don't need to buy anything for T's party lot.
• It's really fun to throw away CRAP!  (And I recycled WAY more than I threw away)
• I have found a lot of stuff that I thought was lost (imagine that).
• We have a lot of space when I get rid of all this said crap.
• It's actually FUN decluttering!

So far (all today!!!), I've attacked our office/catch-all room (my scarriest closet), our front door closet, the pantry, 2 kitchen junk drawers (of 5 - sick, I know), and the book basket under my nightstand.  I still want to get Trent's room/closet, the guest bathroom closet, my side of our closet, under my side of the sink, our bathroom closet, my nightstand, the rest of the kitchen drawers, the mail area, and the guest room closet.  That'll get almost the entire house!!!  Think I can do all that plus finish planning a birthday party in 2 weeks?  I aim to try! {grin}

Resolutions

So it's the start of a new year.  I'm excited to see what 2011 has to bring.  2010 was a great year.  Of course we had some bumps along the way, but overall it truly was a great year.  I know some people don't like resolutions because it usually just sets us up for failure.  And I sort of agree with that as I mostly failed at my resolutions last year.  But I think it's the attempt at making myself a better person that I personally really enjoy.  So drumroll please.............I present my resolutions for 2011!

The theme of this year is about {organization}.  I think the worst part of 2010 was how frazzled I felt throughout the year.  Something was always slipping.  Either my house looked terrible or we were all rushed getting out the door or I was exhausted from trying to do too much.  So I'm working on developing a schedule that incorporates the fact that I'm inherently not inclined towards organization.  Instead of trying to turn a 180 and become something that goes against the grain for me, I'm going to just recognize that fact and do the best I can.  I want to spend 5-10 minutes in the morning and at night picking up around the house (so that it doesn't get out of control and overwhelm me).  I want to cook at least twice a week (and I got a new, EASY crockpot recipe book from my mom).  I want to workout 3-4 times a week (even if it's only for 15 minutes).  I want to, at the end of the day, feel good about the balance I'm trying to create between being a wife, mommy, employee, friend, sister, daughter...  Luckily I also have some great friends who have offered me tips and encouragements in 2010 to help me develop this plan.  I am super excited to see where 2011 takes my family!

The Wagon

I've fallen off it... You might have noticed (or not) that I haven't posted a weigh-in recently. I blame that on Chick-fil-A...Little Caeser's...and a few other delectable spots. But enough! THIRTY is just around the corner. Time to pull myself back on that wagon...possibly kicking and screaming...but back on it, I go! {grin}

Mid-Year Touchpoint

I thought it'd be a good idea (since 2010 is half over - where has the time gone?) to see how my 2010 Resolutions were progressing...

• Get more organized - I'm trying...some days are good, some are not. I'd give myself a B- on this one.
• Learn to play the guitar - I have a loaner guitar and instructional DVD and can play 3 notes...B
• Donate milk to the Austin Milk Bank - Yup! I did it. A+
• Reclaim my body - in process...B
• Continue to grow in my faith and become more involved in my church - Another one that's a continual process. I LOVE my church and will see where I feel led as the year continues...

Here's hoping the 2nd half of 2010 is as great as the first!

Weekly Weigh-In

Making progress! I'll take anything the scale is willing to give me.

P.S. Don't worry, I got a pedicure just after this picture, so you, my lovely reader, won't be subjected to such ugly feet again. {grin}

Weekly Weigh-In

This is from Friday, I'm a little behind in posting. I didn't think it was going to be as good as the Friday before (which I still think was a fluke), but I'm still extremely pleased with this number... We'll see how this changes after Trent's party, 4th of July and 2 family vacations in July {grin}!

Weekly Weigh-In

I've decided I will weigh-in and post my weight on Fridays. Mondays are terrible days to weigh-in (in my book). However, as previously mentioned, my camera is at my sister's, so I have no proof for this (and quite honestly I'm not sure I believe it myself), but today's scale said 131.5!!! We'll see if this sticks around {grin}.

Books aka Library Dork

I am a huge nerd when it comes to books. Reading is my favorite pasttime. I would choose to read over (almost) anything. My friend, Allison, and I have dates to the libraries (yes, plural - with the TexShare program you can belong to any public library in the state of TX for FREE!!!!). Having a baby has not changed my love for books, it has just changed how much time I can devote to reading. And now I also spend a considerable amount of time reading mommy books/magazines. But here are a few gems I read recently that I wanted to pass long.

Dean Koontz: Velocity

I have been reading his books since middle school, and each book is so unique. Velocity was no different. It was SO creepy, I couldn't read too much of it while alone! I also love that no matter the turmoil, his stories always have a happy ending. The good guys always win! Rating: A

Sophie Kinsella: Twenties Girl

I loved the Shopaholic series and have loved all of Sophie's other novels. This one was no different. In fact, it might be my favorite of her books. Twenties Girl was so heartwarming and was just a fun, fun story! Rating: A+

Jane Green: Second Chance

I've only read a few Jane Green books but really look forward to picking up more of hers. Another book that tugged on my heart strings but was overall SO good! Rating: A

Rebooting Me

Brent is a wonderful husband and is SO the ying to my yang. I have a tendency to be overly dramatic, high-maintenance and a little crazy (it really should have been no surprise that I developed post-partum anxiety). Brent is a very calming influence on me who helps put the rational back into my day. Since becoming a mother, I've had a hard time balancing my time. My marriage and myself have taken a backseat to being a mom. Luckily, my husband has been so understanding throughout the last year. I'm working on that balance because everyone in my family will be much better off with a balanced mommy. With that said, and with a little nudge from the hubs, I'm hoping this blog becomes a little more balanced too. I love taking pictures of Trent and will continue to post them like crazy but want to share other sides of my life that are re-emerging. (It also helps that I left my camera at my sister's house, so no new pictures until I get it back.) Bear with me as I go through some growing pains. {grin}