Newest Obsession: Downton Abbey

I'm really late to the party, but I just started watching Downton Abbey. And I love it! I am watching it while Drew naps during the day {on my chest}. I am super bummed that only Season 1 is on Netflix right now because I have 30 minutes left in the season!

Some people think it's a little slow, but I disagree. It's so neat that it follows the titled family AND the family staff. I'm not sure who is more scheming between the 2 sets! {grin}

Anyone else watching it? What else should I be streaming from Netflix during Drew's nap times?

Sunday Night Ramblings

• We had a really good weekend. The first one since Drew's arrival where I felt like 'We got this!' Don't get me wrong, it is still stressful and crazy, but I could tell it was easier, and it felt good!
• I haven't watched anything award season related, and it just feels wrong. But I don't have time right now. Hopefully by the Oscars, I'll be back at it!
• Did I mention Drew has reflux? Not fun. She's been spitting up since the hospital. We are trying lots of things {with the help of our favorite homeopath}, and it is definitely getting better!
• It's still crazy to me that she's here. And has a name. I call her Blair sometimes. Oops.
• Last year, right before Christmas, I got a new point and shoot camera because the one I had originally broke. 6 months ago, I lost it. I got a new one this week!!
• Ms. Thing has nursed ALL DAY today. Ouch. I don't think I'm going to pump tonight. The girls need a break.
• Speaking of pumping, I already have a good section of the freezer filled. So pumped {haha} about that.
• My goal is to be in bed in 25 minutes so...good night!

Love.

Book Club Book Review: Room

The latest selection for our book club was Room by Emma Donoghue.

Plot: To five-year-old Jack, Room is the entire world. It is where he was born and grew up; it's where he lives with his Ma as they learn and read and eat and sleep and play. At night, his Ma shuts him safely in the wardrobe, where he is meant to be asleep when Old Nick visits.

Room is home to Jack, but to Ma, it is the prison where Old Nick has held her captive for seven years. Through determination, ingenuity, and fierce motherly love, Ma has created a life for Jack. But she knows it's not enough...not for her or for him. She devises a bold escape plan, one that relies on her young son's bravery and a lot of luck. What she does not realize is just how unprepared she is for the plan to actually work.

Told entirely in the language of the energetic, pragmatic five-year-old Jack, ROOM is a celebration of resilience and the limitless bond between parent and child, a brilliantly executed novel about what it means to journey from one world to another.

Review: I was worried this book would be too hard for me to read, especially as hormonal as I am right now. But I think because it's told from the point of view of a 5 year-old, it isn't hard to read. Jack has no clue about the horror of his situation, so it makes it really interesting to read his story. I definitely wouldn't have picked this book on my own, but I'm so glad I read it because it was so different and interesting. It is a fascinating read!

Parenting Labels

What 'type' of parent are you? Are you an attachment parent? Or maybe you follow RIE? Ugh. I hate parenting labels. But probably not for the reasons you think.

They make me feel like a failure. {Disclaimer: I told you guys I was doing good, I didn't say there wasn't still some crazy mixed in.} My problem is if I read something from an 'expert' or a bloggy mom I really admire, and I'm not doing what they're doing or what they say is best...I feel bad. 

For example, co-sleeping. I kicked Drew out of our room at 10 days old. She sleeps in a rock-and-play sleeper in her room by the door which is literally 3 feet from our door. But I cried the first night I decided to put her there. But the problem was that every sound she made, I heard. Meaning I wasn't sleeping. Now, with Trent, I wasn't sleeping because I was afraid he was going to die and had to constantly make sure he was breathing. Luckily, with Drew, I know my kids are made of sturdier stock, and I'm not afraid of that. {grin} But still...I wasn't sleeping. So I put her in her room. And felt awful. Because I SHOULD be co-sleeping.

And holding her. I hold Drew most of the day, naps and all. Which I did with Trent {but more for the whole keeping him alive reason}. I want to hold her, but it isn't practical. I feel like I'm jipping Trent of mommy time if I constantly  have to tell him 'no' because I'm holding Baby Sister. So yesterday and today she's taken 1 nap in her room (baby steps people). And I cried. Because you hear about how the world is new to baby and baby is scared and needs your touch constantly for assurance. So I SHOULD hold her.

So all these labels and shoulds make me feel like sh*t. But I have to pull out my rational side {small as it is} and tell myself that labels don't matter. I love my kids. And I'm doing the best I can. I am a mom. That's the label I choose.

How I'm Doing...

Drew is almost 3 weeks old and a joy. I am amazed at how easy just having a newborn is {during the day} when you are used to a toddler. She is sleeping good during the day {on me of course} and pretty good at night. Minimal day-night confusion and nursing 2-3 times/night - AH-mazing. I did put her in her room last week which was SUPER  hard for me. But she sleeps in a rock-and-play sleeper by the door which is 3 feet from our door - ha.

Anyway, back to me... I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop but so far I am doing good. Really good.

My happy pills

I don't know if it's already having done this before, the preparation I did before Drew's birth, the vitamins I've been taking for a year, my placenta, or a combination of it all..but I am in a good place. 

Don't get me wrong, I have had my moments of crying for irrational reasons {see moving Drew to her room above...separate post about that later}, but Brent has been so amazing at helping me talk through what I'm feeling and getting it out.

Part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I'm hopeful that if I feel like this after 3 weeks, I'm out of the woods. I guess time will tell... Prayers are still welcome and appreciated. {grin}

Hard to not be happy with her as my constant companion!

Confessions

• I love when babies fart. Drew stretches and farts and it cracks me up.
• Drew sleeps on my chest most of the day which is really cramping my blogging style. So there probably won't be a ton of blogging right now. Although I have lots of topics in my head.
• I hate baby hiccups. Especially in the middle of the night.
• I also hate diaper changes in the night. Always means we're going to wake-up a little bit, probably get the hiccups, and spend a good while not wanting to go back to sleep.
• Drew had her 2 week checkup yesterday. She is 90% in height and head circumference and 95-98% in weight. She is above her birth weight! And only getting up {most nights} twice a night!!
• If you don't want to read about babies...my blog probably isn't the place to be right now.
• Patty is doing good - no baby yet!
• I need to download pictures from my phone and camera. Drew is soooo cute. {grin}
• We're adjusting to a family of 4 pretty good. I think the hardest part is feeling like Trent is being jipped. The logical part of me knows this is a transition period and that Drew needs me now. I know he's fine, but the mommy part of my heart worries.

Craziness

The last few days have been really interesting around here...and not because of having a newborn in the house!

First, I never blogged about Hagan having baby Luke. He arrived on November 21, about 2 1/2 weeks early due to Hagan having pre-eclampsia. Well, over the weekend he got RSV and spent several days in the hospital. At one point, there was concern that he had a bacterial infection in his blood and potentially had meningitis. Luckily, he didn't but RSV is bad enough for a 7 week old! He is home now and doing good! But as a reminder to all moms, we must be diligent in keeping everyone clean. When Trent comes home, we strip his clothes off and wash his hands and face. We are also washing his blanket and jacket really frequently and pumping him full of vitamins! Ashlee wrote a great post on AMB about germs and staying healthy.

Luke getting sprung!

Then Patty started having contractions. Then she started swelling. Then she went to the doctor where there was protein found in her urine and her blood pressure was elevated. She was monitored in the hospital for a few hours and got released to go home on bed rest for awhile. She is only 35 weeks pregnant, so we need BP3 to cook a little longer!

So the Swope girls really need to settle down!!! And if anyone wanted to pray for my sister and cousin and their boys, we'd sure appreciate it.

Trent Meets Drew {aka Mama's Heart Explodes}

We ended up not having Trent come to the hospital to meet Drew because we thought he might be a little wild and it's flu season. So Friday, I was so excited for Trent to come home from school and meet his sister.

He walked in the door and saw us and asked 'Is that my baby sister?' and ran over. Be still my mommy heart.

Love

Drew was so smart and bought Trent a recycling truck. Such a good little sister.

Opening his present {so excited}

Trent asked if Baby Sister could watch a movie with him.

Drew is really into the movie, no?

So far, Trent seems to like her. He constantly asks where she is and wants to pat her head and touch her toes (we don't let him touch her face or hands). 

He doesn't understand why we can't call her Baby Monkey. When we call her Drew, he says that's not her name. He is too cute!

Grow Baby Grow - Drew - 1 Week Old

All day today I watched the clock and Brent and I talked about what we were doing this time last week. It's crazy how it feels so recent and yet so long ago.

So far, Drew is a pretty easy baby. I know we're in the 2-week 'honeymoon' phase, but we're doing really good. Last night, we only got up 3 times in the night! We've got a good routine, and what I'm really trying to do is make a decision and stick with it. One of my 'issues' with Trent was I constantly second guessed everything I was doing.

I'm doing good too {emotionally} and cautiously optimistic I'm experiencing normal 'baby blues' and nothing post-partum...we'll see.

She had her 5-day checkup on Monday and is almost back up to birth weight {8 lbs. 13 ozs.} and the pediatrician said she's great and healthy!

We've pretty much outgrown newborn clothes and diapers. I didn't have much in newborn clothes, since I knew she'd be big, but we won't even get to wear much of what we had which is kind of a bummer!

Our {big} 1 week old

I have a slight headband obsession! How cute is she?

Drew's Birth Story - Part 2

In case you missed it, Part 1 is HERE.

Where we left off, Brent had just pulled up to the hospital. He dropped me off at the entrance and went to park. Walking into the hospital was horrible. I read a sign that said 'Active labor - 2nd floor'. The lady at the information desk pointed me in the direction of the elevators and up I went. I had a contraction in the elevator and am so thankful no one was there when the door opened as I was leaning on the wall and moaning. Ha! I heard Brent come in downstairs and ask about me. The woman at information asked 'Was she wearing purple?' Yup, that was me! She pointed Brent upstairs and I shouted 'Hey' at him from the balcony. I didn't wait for him though - I went into L&D without him and figured he'd find me. I needed a room NOW!

Brent met me in L&D and a nurse got assigned to take us to a room. She asked if I wanted a wheelchair. The thought of sitting down again was absolutely awful. We got to our room, and I got changed into a gown and gave the nurse my birth plan. It was now 12:00 PM. The nurse mentioned her shift being over at 1:00 and a new nurse would be assigned to take us through delivery. Little did she know...

Just a few minutes later, doula Cary arrived. I started laboring on my hands and knees on the couch, and she began coaching me through each contraction. It was wonderful. Her voice was so calming, and she really helped keep me focused on my breathing through each pain.

A few minutes after that, Liane {midwife} made it! She came over and helped Cary get me through a contraction. I will forever love both of these women. Liane told me I needed to be checked, and I know it sounded awful, but I had to lay on the bed. Here was the moment of truth. Would I be a 2 and want to die? Honestly, the 2 minutes I was on the bed were the worst of the whole day. I had 1 contraction on my back and could barely handle it. Cary and Liane kept me together, and then Liane checked me. The way it felt, I knew she was going to say 2. She said '8 cm, 80% effaced, water bag bulging.' Holy sh*t!! Looking back, this is probably why the truck ride was so bad - I was probably going through transition.

Brent said at this point the room jumped into motion. Liane got really serious. People started swarming in, Liane got herself suited up, and I began laboring on the side of the bed. They also tried to get an IV in for antibiotics from Group B Strep, but I accidentally knocked it out during pushing. Oops! I was standing leaning on the birth ball which was on the bed. Cary and Liane kept coaching me through each contraction, and Liane said I had already been through the worst and it wouldn't hurt anymore than it already did. Those were magic words.

Liane then started discussing my water. Given Baby Gurl was 41 weeks, it was highly likely there would be meconium in my water, and if that was the case, we would not be able to delay cord clamping because we would need to get her suctioned immediately. Liane must have a 6th sense because on my next contraction, my water broke and, sure enough, there was meconium in it. 

Liane told me to let her know when I felt like I needed to push. The next contraction I started to feel the urge to push, so I climbed up onto the bed and leaned over the back of it (it was elevated) and began pushing when the urge hit. These contractions didn't hurt anymore, but the feelings were so intense. That's the only way I can think to describe them. It was overwhelming how my body took over and just made me push.

I started to lose control a little and was saying 'I can't, I can't' over and over again. Cary kept encouraging me that I could and I was. She said every time 'She is almost here. You are right there.' Brent told me {I didn't hear this or don't remember} that Liane told me to stop talking and use that energy to push. Ha. Brent said he almost got in my face at that point to pep talk me, but I got myself back under control.

At this point, Liane wanted me to turn onto my side to push to give Baby Gurl more room to come out. It took me a little bit of time to move into that position, but once I did, I looked down and half of her head was out! On the next contraction, I pushed with everything I had and out popped her head! Liane then worked her body out and she was here!!!! The time was 1:02, 1 hour after we got to the hospital.

She came out screaming which was awesome because that meant she didn't have to be suctioned and we could delay clamping her cord. Happy mama!

Wow! What a day!

We did not expect labor to go that quickly, but I'm so thankful I was able to labor at home some and wasn't at the hospital very long. We had an amazing team, Brent thought Liane did a great job too (he doesn't give out praise often).

We pretty much got our ideal birth and have a healthy, beautiful baby girl. We are beyond blessed.

Drew's Birth Story - Part 1

The plan was that if Baby Gurl wasn't here by 1/2/13, I would go back to work and life would resume from the holidays as 'normal' until she did arrive. So my in-laws kept Trent Tuesday night (1/1/13) since he always stays with them on Wednesdays. Brent took him over there, got a hamburger with some friends and came home. We talked about the plan for the next day - we wanted to go see Brent's best friend who had had a baby on 12/27, eat lunch together, run some errands and then have our appointment with the OB at 3:00 PM.

Wednesday morning I woke up a little before 7:00 and willed myself to go back to sleep. I dozed for a bit and then felt something. Hmmm... I looked at the clock - 7:24 AM. I tried to doze some more and felt another something. I proceeded to feel little surges every 5-10 minutes. They weren't painful but they were definitely something. I decided I'd give them at least an hour before I woke up Brent to make sure there was consistency. I mean, at 41 weeks pregnant, it has to be labor, right? I was sure hoping so but didn't want to get too excited. I got something to eat and sat down to read and watch the time. The surges continued.

At 9:00, I went and told Brent what was happening. At 9:30, I asked him if I should call the OB and doula group. We decided it couldn't hurt since I was still contracting less than 10 minutes apart. Things still were not painful at this point...but they were definitely there. I also texted a few girlfriends to say we might be in labor! That was fun.

At the OB's office, Liane {midwife} recommended I go ahead and go to the hospital since I did test positive for GBS. I was a little surprised by that because the OB {Dr. C} had said originally that I could still labor at home for awhile even with a positive test result. I called the doula group and Cary was the doula of the day. She agreed I could probably labor at home for a little bit since I was still feeling okay, could talk through my contractions and WANTED to be at home. She said she could meet us at home or at the hospital, just to let her know. I also talked to my mom, my MIL and my sister. Everyone was very excited!

I decided to get in the tub for a bit and I started timing my contractions with an app. I wanted to see if they were closer together like I thought or if it was my imagination/hope. I filled the tub up super full and climbed in. 2 contractions later I was OUT. I did NOT enjoy those contractions in the tub and just couldn't get comfortable. {Later Brent told me he was like WTF when he saw me get into the tub, he wanted to go to the hospital!} I started timing contractions at 10:06. They were on average a minute long and about 3 1/2 minutes apart - definitely moving in the right direction and starting to be painful. 

I got into the shower at this point because I wanted to be clean and fresh at the hospital. Brent took over timing the contractions. At this point they were definitely getting worse. I was using visualization and prayer to get me through each one. I ran the 400m in high school which is about a 1 minute race. I kept thinking about each contraction like a 400, kind of funny. I said lots of Hail Marys too and realized they were starting to get bad when I couldn't finish the prayer because I couldn't remember the words.

When I got out of the shower, I still wanted to fix my hair and make-up but Brent was really pushing me to get my bag finished so he could get it in the truck. I got dressed and realized there was no way I could get ready with as quickly as the contractions were coming and as painful as they were getting, so I pulled my wet hair back and threw everything else we needed into the suitcase and Brent started loading the truck.

I randomly remember paying for the placenta encapsulation service (Cary laughed at me about this later because she saw the email come through with my payment info) and answering an email from a co-worker (No, sorry I can't chat today, having contractions...ha). 

At this point, I was having to moan through each contraction to keep myself loose and relaxed. Scared the crap out of Brent though to walk back into the house and hear me moaning in our bedroom! Sorry, honey, it felt SO good!

I took one last bump picture, called Cary to tell her to meet us at the hospital and out the door we went!

It took me a few minutes to actually get into Brent's truck as contractions hit me. He just wanted me IN THE TRUCK so we could get going! In the truck, I called my mom and the OB to let them know we were heading to the hospital. By this point, it was 11:30 AM.

The drive to the hospital was pretty brutal (and only 15 minutes). Contractions every 3 minutes sitting were not pleasant. I remember cursing the bumps in the road. I wanted to be turned around backwards hugging the seat but was just trying to manage each contraction as best as I could until we could get to the hospital.

Finally, Brent turned onto the road the hospital was on. In between contractions, I voiced a fear that I NEEDED to be at a good number. I wasn't sure I could make it if we weren't. Brent told me to not worry about a number, we'd be where we'd be and we'd make it. Love that man.

And with that, we made it to the hospital!

Part 2 coming soon...I need to feed a hungry girl! {grin}

The Name Game

It only took Brent and me 1 day instead of 2 to name this child. Maybe we're getting better at this whole parenting thing??

We proudly introduce...

Drew Kathleen

I plan to get the birth story up by Monday and have such cute pictures of Trent meeting his baby sister. He definitely loves her! It is adorable. I always hate the long time between hearing of a new baby and reading the story of their arrival...I promise I'm not dragging this out on purpose...I just don't have free hands much right now! Thanks for all the sweet comments and love for our baby gurl. We are over the moon!

Baby Gurl Bumpdate: 41 Weeks

Our appointment at 3:00 got cancelled. {grin}

Baby Gurl Gurley

1:02 pm on 1/2/13

9 pounds, 20 inches

Pure heaven

Anticipation

We have our 41 week appointment tomorrow. I started to prep the 'standard' categories I've filled out for quite awhile in this pregnancy for a Bumpdate. And I got irritated, ha. There is really nothing new to write about in the last week.

I am nervous and excited to see what's going on with Baby Gurl. I have been having some pressure and things, but I am fearful there will be no change from the 39 week cervical check I had. Something has to be happening, right? It will definitely be fun to see what's going on in there since we'll be having several procedures... Brent is going with me to the appointment in case we do have to make some decisions.

I know she can't stay inside forever. I really think the last few weeks of pregnancy are so uncomfortable to make birth seem enjoyable! I just really can't wait for our daughter to be here!

I'm ready for the newborn smell. 
I'm ready for milk breathe.
I'm ready for tiny fingers and tiny toes.
I'm ready for babywearing and cloth diapering.
I'm ready to see Trent with his baby sister and be a family of 4.
I'm ready to figure out a name!

I'm ready!