Things Said to Me Lately...

In honor of my due date being EXACTLY ONE MONTH AWAY {holy crap}, I thought it'd be fun to share some gems that have been said to me during this pregnancy.

1. While ordering a drink at Starbucks, the first thing the {very sweet, older} barista said to me:
'Am I going to have to deliver this baby in Starbucks?'

What I wanted to say:
'Trust me, lady. As much as I love Starbucks, stopping off for a chai while in labor will not be the top of my list.' [But anyone visiting me can bring one! {grin}]

What I said:
[chuckle, chuckle...deep breath] 'No. My due date is still over a month away. I just grow big babies!'

2. While trick or treating, a random former neighbor of our friends asked for my due date. {Now to set the mental image, she is probably 6 feet tall and weighs 120 pounds.} When I told her I was due in early December, her response was: 'I thought you would be closer to your due date!'

Nope, I am not closer to my due date. Thank you for saying I am fat.

3. Older gentleman at church {who is, for the record, married}: 'Are you having twins?' 

Nope, not twins. 

'Triplets?'

You can imagine what I wanted to say to him after that comment. Starts with an F and rhymes with Duck.

4. Same man at church the following week. Looks at me and shakes his head and says:
'No way will you make it to your due date.'

Oh? So you're a psychic obstetrician who magically knows when I'll deliver this baby. Given I went past my due date with both Trent and Drew you're probably wrong, asshole. And please, next time can you just say 'You are gigantic.' That would feel equally as good.

5. A different person at church {I seriously might stop going}:
'You're due when?' 

I responded: early December. 

She said: 'Oh, I thought it would be much sooner.'

[smh]

So for the love of all things holy, if you see me in the next few weeks, please tell me how big I look - everyone else seems to think it's okay!

In all honesty, my real friends are the best and are always saying I look amazing and {my favorite} that I don't look pregnant anywhere but my belly, and even if they're lying, they are wonderful.

Moral of this story: LIE TO ALL PREGNANT WOMEN AND SAY THEY LOOK AMAZING!