Ahhhh....

Day 30: React to this term: Letting go

This is real letting go! Can I go back there, please?

Music of the Heart

Day 29: Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories.

1. Alabama: There's No Way

This is mine and Brent's first dance from our wedding. We almost danced to a George Strait song until Brent played this for me, and it was just right for us.

2. Cat Stevens: Moonshadow

3. Peter, Paul and Mary: Leaving on a Jet Plane

2 and 3 are both songs my mom sang to my sister and me as kids. I sing it to Drew and Trent. I didn't know until recently that my sister sings it to her kids too. Listening to Blair sing 'Moonshadow' or having Trent ask me to sing 'Jet plane' warms my heart like nothing else.

4. Queen: Killer Queen

Queen is one of my all-time favorite bands, and this is my favorite song of theirs. Patty and I just go to town when it's on. {grin}

5. Charlie Robison: New Year's Day

There are too many songs to name that will forever make me think of Brent. Should he ever leave me, I won't be able to listen to the radio for that very fact! This song brings back great memories of weekends spent with Brent and his cousin on his cousin's boat. We listened to this song over and over. 

Day 28: Only Pictures

Dear Readers

Day 27: A letter to your readers

To my readers,

The only thing I really want to say to you as my readers is thank you! Thank you for taking time to look into my life and read my ramblings. Thank you for commenting and encouraging me. Thank you for coming back day after day. Thank you for thinking my children are adorable and my stories are funny. Thank you for sharing your stories with me. I hope you are enjoying yourself and will stick around!

Love, Me

The Best?

Day 26: Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.

Article: U.S. Ranks First in Healthcare Spending - Last in Life Expectancy

I am a pretty typical American - a little bit snobby in that I think our country is the best and a little bit naive to what our problems really are. I spend too much time laughing at how fat Kim Kardashian looks while pregnant.

But I'm starting to read more and learn more about our great nation, and a lot of it is pretty sad.

If you read this article, it compares the U.S. to all other high-income 'peer' countries - Japan, Switzerland, U.K., etc. - and we suck. Big time.

What is causing this?

Big pharma, vaccines, GMOs? That is what this article discusses.

And maybe I'm going even more hippie [insert Brent rolling his eyes], but I tend to believe this article. I have started to think our country isn't as great s we'd like to think...

Food for thought for your Sunday evening!

Self-Esteem Killer

Day 24: Your top 3 worst traits

1. I have a nasty, short temper. I come by this honestly, as I inherited my temper from my dad. I just get SO angry I explode. I tell myself to stay calm but there are certain times when I just can't control myself. There is no better way to explain it - I just lose it. Brent and my sister have seen this too many times to count. I think I'm getting better...but maybe one of them should weigh in on that!

2. I am too selfish. This is another one directed more at Brent. [Lucky him] I don't know if I'd call it being selfish or jealous or what, but in my head I constantly think about what I'm doing and what he's not. But when I succumb to #1, he quickly reminds me of all the things he IS doing that I don't think about. In my head, I'm all 'He is watching too much TV while I take care of the kids.' Or 'He never helps me with the dishes.' But then he reminds me about how he does all the outside work and all the repairs and plays with the kids ton. Then I feel like a big ol' jerk.

3. I am beyond disorganized/lazy. I want to have a clean house and cook meals. I want to have our family pictures printed and organized. I want to put laundry away and pick up after myself timely. I just don't want it enough to do it. {grin}

Gee, this list makes me feel real good about myself!

I'm Cheating

No offense to the creator of Blog Every Day in May, but today's topic bored me. {Things you learned that school won't teach you.} I don't really want to get all thoughtful tonight.

Instead, I continue a tradition. I really, really, really, really, really, really hope he never grows tired of mowing our yard because when he's 12, he gets the real thing!

Attention, attention!

Day 22: Rant about something.

Oh man, do I love to rant. Ask my husband, he will definitely agree that I love to rant. And lucky for him, I'm going to rant about my husband. 

How could I not love this face?

Before too much longer, I will have loved my husband half my life. It's a crazy thought. But boy oh boy, can that man drive me crazy. 

I don't know if he doesn't on principle alone, but he pretty much refuses to ever let me 'win' an argument or ever get my way. It would be SO nice to just once have him give in without a fight. I always said we were perfect for each other because I am so opinionated that if I had a weak-spined husband I'd walk all over him. But geez, I didn't mean I needed THIS strong of a husband. {grin}

I love this man more than life itself, but B, when you read this...I hope you are paying attention!

Favorite Posts

Day 21: A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives.

Just some of my favorites...

• Announcing our pregnancy with Miss Drew.
• My babies' birth stories. Trent's is here, Drew's is here and here.
• My 100th post with 100 of my favorite things.
• Trent's baptism.
• Chopping off my hair. {I'm going to do it again with Drew. My hairdresser said I'm at 8 inches, and you need 12 to donate. Whoop!}
• Totally cheesy, but I love my post about cake decorating.
• My favorite Christmas card.
• Being pregnant with Patty and Hagan...again.
• Bluebonnets with the trio.
• My favorite book club book.

A Struggle

Day 20: Get real. Share something you're struggling with now.

The first thing that popped into my head was going back to work. It is a dark cloud hovering. I know it will be fine {been there, done that} but until I actually do it, it is hard to really wrap my brain around it. I have a lot of the same emotions I had when it was time to go back after having Trent. In my heart, I wish I could stay home with my babies, but it isn't in our finances. Luckily, my boss and I are still working on tweaking my responsibilities that will make things a little less chaotic...which is much needed! So I am trying to soak up everything I can over the next 2 weeks. We will do it and then life will shift again and we'll find our normal...and I think it will be better for everyone, it's just hard. And that's enough because I don't want to start crying!

Faves

Day 19: 5 of your favorite blogs and what you love about them

Any blog I have on my sidebar I obviously love or I wouldn't put them there, but all that I have are very different.

1. Austin Moms Blog: Duh. Because I write for it, haha!

2. Elefantitas Alegres/Dee's Adventures/In No Simple Language: These are my newest mommy blog loves. All 3 ladies are wonderful story-tellers and I love reading about their little girls: Leighton, Shelby and Maggie.

3. First Name Smith: Because Kristen always writes what she feels. I sensor myself a lot because I constantly think about 'Big Brother' {aka my bosses and clients}.

4. Banned from Baby Showers: When I got up the courage to say OUT LOUD that I wanted to have a natural birth (I was thinking it for a long time but wasn't sure I could really do it), I found this blog. Donna founded her own natural childbirth education curriculum and is just awesome. I read her entire blog in the month before Drew joined our family. The best part is should I really get my dream of becoming a childbirth educator someday, I totally qualify for hers - you just have to have breastfed for a year {check} and have had a natural birth {check}. Sweet!!

5. Handbags and Handguns: Misty is really funny and talks about TV shows and movies and all that really important stuff.

Nightmare on Elm Street

Day 18: Tell a story from your childhood.

Patty and I have 10 first cousins on my mom's side of the family. My grandparents lived on a farm with no air conditioning or cable. It was brutal. We cousins had to actually entertain ourselves playing outside and stuff. Ugh.

The cousins in 2002 {wish I had a pic on my computer from back in the day}

Once - I'm going to guess I was about 8 - there were 6 of us spending the weekend. At the time I was the youngest grandkid (I am #10), and we were divided up - the 3 oldest {Dave, Lee, and Julie} were locked in one room and wouldn't let the 3 youngest {Abby, Patty, and me} in the room. Meanies. We 3 littles banged on the door to no avail until suddenly, we were let in. Hooray! Or so we thought.

Lee was standing on the bed wrapped in a blanket, and Dave was in a corner working a flashlight. They had us settle in for a little story...the story of Freddy Krueger. {Sidebar...my grandparents house was on Elm Street.} Lee starts to tell us the story of Freddy, going into deep description of his looks. Dave would periodically turn off the flashlight for extra creepiness. 

To say the 3 of us littles were spooked would be an understatement. 

Being the nosy curious kid that I am, who {rightfully} had no clue about dear ol' Freddy asked 'What did his nails look like?'

Lee responded 'Like this!!!!' and pulled out his hand which had steak knives taped to every finger. 

Screaming and darkness ensued.

Oh those hilarious cousins. {grin}

The best part? Later that night the actor who played Freddy Krueger was on a late night talk show. Can we say random?

Selfie

Day 17: A favorite photo of yourself and why

This picture was taken {by our amazing doula, Cary} shortly after Drew joined our family. I have a series of pictures that just warm my heart because they are taken after an amazing day. The culmination of a lot of preparation and hard work paid off big time in Drew's birth. I will forever be awed at what my body did to welcome our sweet gurl. #sorrynotsorry for the blood, haha.

A Burden

Day 16: Something difficult about your 'lot in life' and how you're working to overcome it

Overall, I consider myself blessed. Very blessed. The one thing that I consider my 'cross to bear' is my struggle with postpartum anxiety. I don't think anyone can anticipate PPA or PPD, and when it hits {and you realize that is what is happening}...it hits like a ton of bricks. It was an extremely trying time in our lives when Trent was born, and when we were pregnant with Drew, I worked hard to prevent it from happening again. Well, that didn't work out quite like I anticipated. {grin} Luckily, it wasn't as bad this time, we recognized it faster, and kicked its butt!

And, let's be real...these kids were totally worth it!

Even though, I think I can say I have 'overcome' this twice, I feel like there's a reason for it. I shared earlier on in this challenge, a secret if you will, that someday I hope to be involved in the birthing community in some way. I think that this journey will help me be more compassionate and more empathetic with other mothers.

A Day in the Life

Day 15: A Day in the Life

A day in my life right now isn't my 'normal' since I'm still on maternity leave. And even today wasn't a 'normal' day in my maternity leave considering Drew and I hang out at home a lot. But regardless, I present today!

3:30 AM - Drew wakes up. We nurse.

4:00 AM - BIG storm...Drew wakes up but doesn't fuss. Between 4 and 6, every time I looked at the monitor, she was awake but never fussed. 

6:00 AM - Drew finally back asleep for good.

8:00 AM - Drew wakes up. We nurse in my bed and Drew goes back to sleep until 11:15!!!!!!!!!!!!! I read for about 2 hours in bed, it was awesome. {Trent spends Tuesday night with my in-laws most weeks.}

Snuggles with my girl

12:00 PM - My parents kept Miles and Blair, and Miles asked if Aunt Allena could come visit. Duh.

These 2 are a mess, and I love them!

1:00 - Drew and I went to help Auntie K Dub register for her baby girl {SQUEAL} joining their family this fall.

Getting our shop on

6:00 PM - Picked my big stinker up from the in-laws and headed home.
7:30 PM - Drew in bed.

Got some 1-on-1 time with this cutie

8:00 PM - Put Trent to bed. {Brent was playing golf so I did both kids bedtime.} Then work {I'm helping out with 2 projects, yup, I'm a saint}, dinner, blogging, TV.

My evening view

The rest of my night will consist of picking up for the cleaning lady, pumping and a little bit of book reading!

So that's been my day today. Good night!!!

Happy

Day 14: 10 things that make you really happy

In no particular order...

1.  My little family

2.  Chai lattes

3.  Pedicures

4.  Vacations

5.  The 2 hours after both kids are in bed that are all mine

6.  A good book {or series}

7.  Romantic comedies

8.  The day the cleaning lady comes

9.  Wine

10. Retail therapy

2 for 1

Day 12: What do you miss?

I don't miss much in life. I've got a pretty sweet setup. {grin}

• I miss my grandparents.
• I miss my wedding bod.
• I miss the no-responsibility years of high school {but not the drama}.
• I miss sleeping in on the weekends.

Day 13: Issue a public apology.

To my children:

I apologize for all the embarrassing things I have done as your mother to-date. I apologize for all the embarrassing things I will do in the future. 

I cannot be held responsible for: telling stories about you pooping in the tub...and maybe showing a naked picture or two, crying at any and all public events {graduations, dance recitals, first communions}, using spit to clean your face, taking way too many pictures, being too loud, dressing too dorky, wanting to hold your hand when you think you are too old, and generally caring about your life.

I hope you can forgive me.

Love, Mama

A Perfect Day

Today, on the day that is supposed to be about me...Drew woke up 3 times in the night when she normally wakes up once. How rude, right? {grin} Then, Trent bit me during church. What?

On 'my' day...I hope my children {and their daddy} know they are my world. And I hope my mama knows how much I appreciate everything she did for me. I really, really understand.

Sold!

Day 11: Sell yourself in 10 words or less.

Mostly sweet...but with a dash of salty!

An Emotional State of Temporary Discomfort

Day 10: Most Embarrassing Moment.

When I read this topic, a certain story popped into my head. I haven't thought about this particular incident in a long time, but if it's what I instantly thought about, it must be up there for embarrassing moments, right?

This story takes place in 6th grade. To set the scene, I present middle school Allena. Except in this picture I had already gotten contacts. So take this girl and add glasses - glasses that were too big for her face. Yeah, I'll give you a moment to digest that. {Thank God I didn't meet Brent until high school.}

In my history class, I sat between a really good girlfriend and a boy I liked. You know, LIKED. I was thrilled with the seating arrangement to say the least. Until... One day I was sitting there talking to both of them when I reached into the basket under my desk. And a teeny, tiny fart escaped. ARGH!! I instantly wanted to die but played it off hoping no one else heard it. Except they both burst out laughing. I did the act innocent and said 'What?'. It didn't work. I just sat there trying not to cry and willing class to be over. Needless to say, I never made that boy my boyfriend!

Snapshot

Day 9: A Moment in Your Day

Heading to Opening Day at the Farmer's Market!

Keep Calm

Day 8: A Piece of Advice

The hardest thing I have ever dealt with by far is post-partum anxiety. All I could do was keep going. I knew eventually we'd survive it. In any situation, all I think you can do is keep on keepin' on.

And if you can do it with some wine and Harry Pottery...why not?

Ooooh....Spooky

Day 7 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: The Thing(s) You're Most Afraid Of

* Death. Totally cliche but it is what it is. Although it is a little bit more than just death...it's the concept of forever. We are dead FOREVER {totally said in my best Sandlot impression}. Name something else that lasts forever. Oh that's right...you CAN'T. Because NOTHING ELSE LASTS FOREVER. Isn't that such a creepy thought? Not only do we have no clue what it will be like to be dead, we will do that for ALL ETERNITY. I used to cry as a kid over this, and I kind of want to cry again.
* My kids being sick. No, not like a cold. Like for real sick. Like nothing I can do about it, they are in pain...okay, enough talking about that one.
* Cancer. See #2, similar concept.

******

Enough really morbid fears!

* Roaches. Yes, I included them in 2 lists. They're that nasty.

* Pedophiles. Well, really anything that could happen to me or my kids from an episode of Law & Order: SVU.

* Getting fat.

* Stretch marks and saggy girls. Never mind. Thanks Trent and Drew!

* Being totally gray. I'm sadly on my way. And it shows when your hair is almost black.

Who Am I?

Day 6 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?

This one is pretty easy for me because I don't think my job is who I am, and I don't think I would ever use it to describe me. Yes, I am an auditor, a CPA, a pencil pusher, a numbers geek, the devil...but that isn't WHO I am.

Plain and simple, I am a wife and a mother. My peeps complete me.

Grow Baby Grow {Drew} - 4 Months

Drew Baby, you are another month older and another month more adorable and wonderful. Your personality is starting to develop, and I could eat you up more and more every day. You are such a little lady now! A lot developmentally has happened this month too - you are growing up so fast, and I love every minute of it! Well, maybe not the minutes where we are hanging out at 12:00 AM and 2:00 AM and 4:00 AM. {grin}

Stats:
Weight: 13 lbs, 7 ozs {25-50%**}
Length: 24 5/8" {50-75%}
Head: 42.1 cm {90-95%}
Diapers: Size 2 in disposables & as tight as I can get them in cloth
Clothing size: 3-6 months in everything

**Just like her brother, born big and then drops percentiles until I have a skinny kiddo! I don't understand why they torment me by making me push out 9 pound babies if they are going to be string beans!!

*You found your feet this month. They haven't quite made it into your mouth, but you love to hold them.

*You got your first black eye when Brother dropped my phone on your face. You didn't like that one bit. I doubt it will be the last black eye he inflicts upon you.
*You are a rolling machine. You rolled one direction at the beginning of the month (back to tummy) and did it for days...and then promptly stopped. You started again in the other direction Monday. Silly girl.
*You are completely unswaddled at all times and sleeping in a sleep sack. Bedtime is between 7:00 and 7:30. You get up 1 or 2 times most nights...occasionally (rarely) you sleep THROUGH the night. I love those nights. Some nights you must miss me even though we are together ALL day and you get up lots. Usually around 6:00 you end up in our bed and we side-lying nurse and doze until Brother wakes us up.
*Naps didn't get better this month. I did a little nap training last week but a cold interrupted us. We'll start again soon. We have to get over this hurdle before daycare. Sometimes you roll onto your side. Precious.

*WE BEAT THRUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*You are giggling but are very stingy with those giggles. I try so hard every day to get you to laugh, but I'm not often rewarded.
*You chew your hands and fingers. I keep thinking you are going to be a thumb sucker...but so far you only occasionally get your thumb in there. I guess time will tell!
*You have started holding your left ear {your big flappy one, hee hee}.
*You will grab stuff if it is near your hands but haven't really reached for anything yet. Anything in your hands {like Sofie} end up in your mouth. Love this phase!

*Reflux continues to get so much better. Some days you don't spit up at all but some aren't quite so good. Hopefully we will be done with that soon!

Firsts:
-First time rolling over {April 4}
-First time grabbing feet {April 13}

Baby Gurl, you are amazing. I can't wait to see what the future holds for you and for our family. I have less than a month left on maternity leave which makes me want to sob when I think about it. I plan to soak up every minute we have left!

And randomly...this is my 1,000th post!!! 

A Reminder

Day 5 of Blog Every Day in May: Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends.

I'm going to put a little spin on today's topic. I love reading blogs. It is one of my favorite pasttimes, and I wonder sometimes what I did with the time I spend blogging before there were blogs? 

But for the most part it's fun fluff. Everyone writes about what they want to {usually the good}: I get to see cute outfits, adorable kids, recipes that look yummy that I know I'll never cook. Very rarely does a blog have a true impact on my life. One has, and she doesn't even blog anymore...although I wish she did.

Kristen Plauschinat was my sister's best friend for a long part of our childhood. I have known Kristen for over 20 years. Are we close? No. But we do have a lot of shared memories. A little over 2 years ago, Kristen's daughter, Jordan, passed away from cancer before she even reached her second birthday. Kristen blogged about their experience (what I can only imagine to be a journey through hell). Since then she and her husband have had 2 more adorable girls, Harper and Ellison. Even though she doesn't blog anymore, I will never take her blog off my sidebar because every time I see her blog name, I think of Jordan...a little girl I never met...but a little girl who reminds me every day that life is short. When I see her blog, it reminds me to not take my children, or the time we have together, for granted. 

Speaking of my children, come back this afternoon to see Drew's 4 month update. {grin}