I remember watching TGIF with Allison while playing with my play-doh Soda Shoppe. I remember watching inappropriate horror movies at Sibyl's house. And gossiping the night away with Kerri. Slumber parties were always the best - staying up SO late, eating pizza, watching movies, getting in trouble for being too loud.
But I have no clue when I'm going to be ready for our kids to sleep over with friends.
I slept at my best friend Jennifer's house when I was in Kindergarten. Trent is in 3rd grade, and I'm nowhere near ready! How do you decide? How do you get comfortable? How do you trust the other parents?
I don't know if things are truly different today than it was when I was a kid or if the media makes it seem worse, but I'm having a real hard time figuring out how to trust other parents.
I remember the BTK Killer was a president of his church, was married and had daughters. And yes, I know that is me jumping to extremes. {grin}
Brent's little girlfriend's mom is a therapist, and she told me she hears so many stories from patients about bad things that happened to them at friend's houses, and they aren't having their girls sleep over with anyone. That's sobering.
Has anyone thought about this and figured out a rule of thumb? The older Trent gets I know more opportunities are going to come up. And Drew is already asking, ha.
Just another thing of parenting I wasn't prepared for!
4 comments:
Keep sleepovers at your house! Then you are in control (and maybe drive you insane) but at least you know what is going on. I think also keeping that line of communication open with your kids so IF at any point you are ready to let them be the ones to stay the night they will feel comfortable in telling you anything shady that goes on-and call you right away!
Ooohhhh... this is a hard one.
The kids have slept over at friends' from church houses. Then this past summer, we randomly ran into one of Sam's friends from school and he asked if Sam could sleep over. We said, "Yes" but I was worried.
We didn't know the parents super-well but they seemed to be good people. The other thing that helped me (weirdly) was that another friend was sleeping over too.
Sam had a blast, except they watched one of the Star Wars movies which made me sad because we wanted to be the one to introduce Sam to Star Wars.
Since then we've gotten to know the parents better and I know that it was a good thing for Sam.
I talked with a few friends and said, "How do you decide these things?" I think you really have to trust your gut. And I also think about the fact that if I don't want my kids living at home at age 35 I have to let them test their wings (and mine! Ha!) little steps at a time.
I also wish there were individual parenting books -- at age XX Child 1 will be ready to sleep over at a friend's house but Child 2 won't be ready until age XX, or something like that.
Wow -- here's a super-long comment for you that might not be the least bit helpful!
First of all, I second everything Natasha says in her comment. As for our story, Aaron started sleepovers at age 18 months. It was my friend I met in prenatal yoga (now one of my best friends, but at the time we didn’t know them beyond a few meet-at-the-park play dates) and I was super nervous for all the reasons you gave. We decided to follow Aaron’s cue on the whole thing, and if he showed any hesitation or aversion to their house, we would never pursue another. Aaron LOVED it. He didn’t want to leave! And this sleepover tradition has continued for over 3 years now. Aaron is a sleepover pro at this point, and I’d feel comfortable letting him sleepover almos anywhere. Now, when I look at Oliver, I could never see him doing a friend sleepover at 18 months, and still not now; he doesn’t have the social ness that Aaron did at his age. I think it’s absolutely the kid, the family, and a hefty dose of trust. Just like Natasha said, trusting your gut and then spreading your wings.
Phew. Same questions and worries here!! So far Millie has never slept anywhere without us- not even grandparents or cousins. So maybe it will be a really long time before she even realizes that it's a 'thing'?? Hahaha. I loved sleepovers growing up- well, some of them. I regularly (like basically every weekend, alternating my house and theirs) slept over with my best friends (sisters)...our parents were really close as well, and we did this from like elementary through high school. Those are wonderful memories, as are the more infrequent sleepovers with other close friends. The more 'random' sleepovers, though (usually birthday parties for school friends, I guess), were more of a mixed bag. Those are the times that I remember being uncomfortable because of what the other girls (not as close of friends) were doing/talking about/watching. Nothing BAD ever happened to me, thank goodness, but I do remember feeling so uneasy sometimes...afraid to fall asleep because they might gossip about me or prank me, etc. I remember always feeling so relieved to go home, even though I rarely TECHNICALLY had a bad time, haha.
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