Monday, December 11, 2017

The Big D

Brent and I are a couple who bickers. 95% of the time we are joking - I guess it goes back to our teenage years where we didn't know how to flirt with each other. {grin} I remember us making my BFF, Kristen, really nervous when she first spent time with us because we were always griping at each other, but it's almost always said in fun.

Well, one day a few weeks ago, Brent, the big 2 kids, and I were on our bed, and Brent said to the kids 'What do you say we move out and don't let Mommy come?' I fully expected Trent to want to go with Brent but figured Drew would want to be with me. Well, they fooled me, and both started shouting 'Yes, yes!' Can you guess which parent is the nice parent who brings home candy and lets them watch extra TV?

We joked about this for a little while and the battle lines became drawn: I would get Paige because duh breastfeeding, Drew wanted Brent {#heartbroken}, and Trent chose me because once he figured out where Paige was going, his alliance changed. We all had some laughs and that was the end of that.

The next morning, the conversation picked back up because I was teasing the kids about choosing Brent over me when Drew said she didn't want to talk about it anymore because it was making her heart sad. Ooof that made me sad, so I reassured her A LOT that we had been kidding and we loved each other etc. etc.

A little while later, Trent asked me 'Where would I live if you and Daddy got divorced?' I started up again about how Brent and I love each other, we were just kidding, we aren't getting a divorce, but Trent again asks where he would live. I say for a 3rd time how this isn't going to happen, etc. He interrupts me and said 'No, seriously, where would I go?'

I responded 'You'd live with each of us half of the time.' To which he responded 'OK.' HA!

I can't decide if Brent and I have scarred our children with this conversation - what do you think?


Natasha said...

I think it's helpful to address the issue head on. I would think that your kids are hearing about other friends who are having to deal with this and knowing that a) You aren't even thinking about it and b) there is a plan which would fall into place is helpful, I would think.

I think I would reassure them that they wouldn't have to make the decision about where to go when, that you and Brent would make those decisions. That might be important that they know they don't have to choose where to be when.

Our kids know who they would live with if we die (and are a little too excited about it, in my opinion!) and I think it is reassuring for them to know we have a plan in place.

We have close friends who are going through a divorce so our kids know that divorce is something which happens to some people.

Those are my thoughts...

BG said...

You’re lucky Paige doesn’t have a voice!

Emily said...

Do the kids have any friends with divorced parents? I think that can up the sensitivity/ curiosity of it. A couple of Aaron’s classmates have divorced parents. Truthfully, I don’t think we’ve had any conversations with Aaron about divorce. At this point in our country’s state, we have more conversations about religious diversity and LGBTQ acceptance than we ever have had about divorce... which is actually kind of funny, now that I think about it.