Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Asking for Help

I think one of the things that is hard for women to do is to ask for help. We constantly think we 'should' be able to handle whatever challenge we are facing. Social media doesn't help because the people we see on there are presenting a lot of times this image that they CAN handle it all {usually falsely presented as such}, so we must be failing because we can't. This is definitely something I have struggled with in my post-partum journey. I have friends who seem to transition to life with a newborn easily and don't have all the fears that seem to consume me. So one of the things I wanted to make sure and do this time around was to not be afraid to ask for help and be honest about my feelings. So what if other friends don't have this challenge or that struggle?  If I am struggling, struggling in silence doesn't hurt anyone but me!


One of the things that was hard for me at first was taking the big kids to school. Brent and I worked to make sure I have as much done as possible the night before - clothes are picked out, lunches are made, vitamins laid out, etc. But I would wake up and instantly be anxious and it would last until way after I had dropped the big 2 off. So my mother-in-law volunteered to come and take the kids for a while. Normally I would have said no, but I knew it could help, so I said yes. So she drove 35 minutes in the opposite direction of her job to take my kids to school. And it helped release some anxiety until I felt I could handle it better. And now we're doing mostly good in the morning and I have minimal anxiety getting everyone ready!

Then we've had several bouts of sickness {terrible timing to have a newborn!}, and I was freaking out that Paige would get sick. So I called my mom and asked if some of us could come spend the night to try and keep Paige well. And of course she said yes. At first I felt guilty abandoning Drew when normally I would take care of her. And then I felt guilty for burdening my mom. {But she is quick to remind me it's her job to take care of me. And yes, I know I am so blessed by these 2 women.} And being able to ask her for that help and go over there while Drew's fever broke relieved a lot of stress and anxiety.

Those are just 2 examples of when I've reached out for help. But truly both of those situations made such a difference for me and my emotional state. I write this post to be candid about my journey but also to be raw and hope that if anyone is out there struggling a little, they won't feel so bad asking for or accepting help. There are so many people who are willing to help, and I am finally not afraid to ask for it!


Kathryn Bagley said...

Great post!! You are exactly right about women not wanting to ask for help-for me it's a pride thing..and also fear of getting hurt asking help from people.