PP Update

I've been taking Zoloft for just over 2 weeks. I would say I am definitely better than I was when I started but I'm not where I want to be yet. The mornings are still really tough with my anxiety very high. A lot of times I wake up between 5:00 and 6:00 and lay there feeling like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. Not really a great way to start out each day! The side effects are also no fun, but I'm powering through them, and they're starting to lessen. I actually have more of them this time around than when I took Zoloft with Trent which I find interesting. Although I did start out on a higher dose this time, so that might explain it?? I just keep reminding myself that I've done this twice before and know it's for a limited time and that I'll never have to do it again. Thinking about having another baby makes me ill, ha! I'm trying not to wish away Paige's newborn time because it really is so special to watch her discover the world, but I also want to feel like myself again. It's hard to be scared of everything, and that's what the anxiety does to me - it makes me scared all the time - scared to be alone with the kids, scared to go places, scared of bad naps, etc. I have to remember that postpartum is an illness, so I can't beat myself up for how I feel. That's tough. But I know I'll get through and come out stronger...eventually!

February 2017 Reads

I might sit on the couch half the day holding a sleeping baby, but my brain is tired, so I'm usually watching HGTV during that time instead of reading. I'm also going to bed pretty much as soon as I get Paige down. All that means my February book list isn't that impressive.

Lost Girls by Robert Kolker - This was our January book club pick, but I skipped that meeting due to Drew being sick. It's about unsolved murders of call girls whose bodies were found in the same area of Long Island. The book focused more on the 5 women and what lead them to become call girls as there doesn't seem to be much information about their murders. It was interesting but {as to be expected} sad.

Island of Glass by Nora Roberts - The 3rd book in the latest NR trilogy. It was a good wrap-up to this series.

One True Loves by Taylor Jenkins Reid - Another winner by TJR. 5 years after her husband died, Emma is engaged and happy. Then she finds out her husband is alive! Such an interesting premise, and I really had no idea how this one would turn out, and I was nervous! Both guys were so amazing. But as usual, Taylor manages to make the ending totally believable and perfect. LOVED it!

Black Hills by Nora Roberts - A serial killer/stalker in the Black Hills of South Dakota - a good, typical story from Nora. Not nearly as dark as the subject sounds given there is a love story at the heart of it!