Fitness After Forty

I like tracking my fitness metrics through my Apple watch. Not that it's an exact science, but it's fun to see if things are improving or declining over time, especially as I age. I want to do as much as I can to keep my body in good shape but also recognizing I'm in my middle years.

My current trends

I've had some things I've wanted to work on over the past couple of years - standing more throughout the day and flexibility/mobility being 2 of the more recent ones. 

My workouts have been pretty consistent over the past 4-5 years:

• Body Pump - 1-2 times/week {usually just 1 - when I teach}
• Pilates or Yoga - 1 time/week {usually Pilates}
• Jazzercise - 1-2 times/week {which is always a mix of cardio and strength training - about 2/3 cardio}
• Walking - 1-2 times/week was my norm, now it's almost every day {if only a mile} since I'm walking Gus consistently

But I do feel like there is a lot of conflicting information about what is most important for women as we age, and it's frustrating!

• Strength training - super important for women, especially for bone health and counteracting muscle mass losses
• Flexibility - injury prevention, balance/fall prevention, posture, pain reduction
• VO2 Max - this is a newer one to me - and I only knew about it because of my Apple watch {see image above} but this number is a 'key' indicator in cardio fitness and overall health - for my age, 32 is in the 'good' range

Like how many things can we manage at a time that are all 'critical' to our health as we age?!

I ran for the first time in FOREVER this week [2 separate times for 1 mile each time] because I do want to see if I can get my VO2 Max number up {it's only measured when walking or running outdoors} - I don't want to get back into running because I've realized I do NOT enjoy it like I enjoy the exercise formats I mentioned above, and I think if you don't like it, you won't do it - so better to be doing something that isn't THE BEST over doing nothing...but it can kind of all make your head spin when you try to do everything! And let's not talk about sleep and diet and sun protection and hormones...SO MUCH!

What are your thoughts on staying fit as you age?!

Anxiety Spiral

Well. We got Gus and sh*t hit the fan. I started having anxiety pretty quickly after bringing Gus home, and I didn't understand why. Yes, it's stressful to have a puppy, and the mornings were especially stressful trying to watch him {so he wouldn't go to the bathroom in the house or eat something he wasn't supposed to} while getting the kids ready for the day, but overall Gus has been an easy pup. He quickly adjusted to his crate and has been sleeping/staying in his crate for 8 hours/night in the office since week 2. He eats great and is almost accident free. 

I felt like a giant loser having anxiety over a dog. I partially blamed it on the amount of reading/watching videos I did about bringing a dog home and was trying to do ALL THE THINGS. Brent kept saying 'it's just a dog, it'll be fine'. But I kept getting worse. I called Kristen one day hysterically crying and cried a lot. It culminated in me crying for hours on Brent's birthday and reminded me SO MUCH of how I felt having post-partum anxiety. I ended up having to take Xanax and scheduled an appointment with my doctor for last week. I also had an already scheduled appointment with my therapist for last week as well.

My doctor said basically I have PTSD from post-partum and my nervous system can't tell the difference between bringing a baby home and a dog - it's a living thing I have to take care of, and it triggered an anxiety response. I talked to her about taking an SSRI again {I took Zoloft after both Trent and Paige} which I didn't want to do but was willing to if she thought it was warranted. Thankfully she did not think I needed to be on one! She prescribed Xanax to use in emergencies and also a blood pressure medicine that does a similar thing as Xanax without the side effects. Luckily, so far, I haven't needed to take either. She also wanted me to do EMDR therapy to process my post-partum trauma and hopefully break that anxiety cycle. And what do you know - my therapist just got trained in EMDR! So I was able to text her after meeting with my doctor so she was prepared for EMDR for our appointment. I'm also taking a bunch of supplements {a lot of the ones I took after Drew plus another my doctor recommended} that focus on stress/worry/anxiety.

We did our first EMDR session on Friday, and it was super helpful! We worked on creating a safe place in my mind to go when I'm feeling anxious and focusing on my 5 senses for that place. I chose my parents' porch swing. Luckily, every day since Brent's birthday weekend has felt better and better. I was nervous today about teaching my class {I didn't teach last week I was feeling so bad}, and it felt really good and today has been the best day so far since bringing Gus home.

We still have some work to do on our new normal - summer routine with the kids home plus having a dog - but I feel much better about being able to do so! I'm no longer thinking 'WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF?' on a regular basis ha! I already love Gus, the kids are over the moon, and I think we're going to have years of fun with him!

Noom Check-in: 9 Months!

 I have been using Noom for just over 9 months and figured it was time for another check-in. My last update was in June, and honestly, not much has changed - for good and bad! So let me explain what I mean by that. {grin}

The Good:

• I am still consistently using the app every day and earning my coins. I hit the highest level 'Noom Wizard' at the end of October ha. Now I focus on earning my coins for getting 'Treat Days'.
• Working out is consistent. This isn't new, but I always want to acknowledge it given I went so long without consistently working out. There were times this felt so insurmountable and now it's something I do almost every day.
• I'm finding it easier to make better food choices and learning how to live a more balanced life. Going out to eat, enjoying a treat day and getting back on track, choosing when to splurge vs. always splurging, ha.
• A scale victory I'm very excited about - I'm back in my pre-pregnancy jeans from Paige!

The Bad:

• Now this bad could also be a good, and I'm trying to view it as so: I've basically been in a plateau since the summer...UGH. The upside of this is I've maintained about 20 pounds of weight loss {15-20 depending on the week ha}, but given I'd like to lose another 10...it's a bit frustrating.
• I could still use some work on more greens and less oranges...processed food man.

Bottom line - Noom is working for me, and I plan to continue using it! I have my treat days set through December and am excited to tackle the last of my weight loss in the New Year. 

I think you can really see the weight loss in my face here.

Doesn't hurt that I'm standing next to my VERY pregnant sister, ha.

Noom Check-in #2

I have been using Noom for almost 4 months and am still loving it, yay!

To talk about numbers, I've lost just over 20 pounds, which is 2/3 of my goal!! I am lower than I was when I got pregnant with Paige, which is a number I haven't seen since I got pregnant and has been a huge milestone for me!

What I like about Noom:

• Tracking food is super easy - this has always been the hardest part for me, and if I am frustrated with tracking food, I quit and go back to my old ways. Noom makes it so easy to track food that I am never frustrated!!
• I enjoy the daily articles and am learning a lot - some articles are better than others, but I love that there is a purpose to this and it is WORKING to help me understand why we eat the way we do, make certain choices, etc. AND how to get smarter!
• The coins as motivation - these coins literally mean nothing yet I get so excited to earn my coin every day. And I totally get that there is psychology behind the coins and I am the perfect target for this!

Psychology at its finest!

What I don't like about Noom:

• Daily weighing - I'm still not totally sold on weighing every day. I do it {gotta earn that coin}, but when I see fluctuations that don't make sense, it can frustrate me. I am learning to have a better attitude about those fluctuations and I do agree that I have zero anxiety now about weighing. I do it, put the number in my app, and move on. BUT I think in the long-term I probably won't do this.

My non-scale victories remain largely the same: clothes fit that haven't in a long time, I can see the change in my face, wedding rings fit easily, getting back on track is easier after a treat day, etc.

All in all, I don't want to get too cocky about what I've achieved, but I'm really proud of myself! Next steps - lose the last of this weight and MAINTAIN by practicing healthy habits!!

No double chin, yay!

Noom Check-in #1

I've been using Noom for just over 9 weeks, and I thought it was time to do a check-in on how using the app is going as well as my overall weight loss goal.

Bottom line - I love the app and think it's really working for me! I'm down 12 pounds and still find it easy and enjoyable to use the app, and I love what I'm learning too.

In addition to being down more than 1/3 of the way to my goal, here are some non-scale victories I've celebrated as well:

-I'm wearing jeans that have been incredibly snug for a year! It's nice to pull clothes out of the closet that I haven't been able to wear for a while - it's like getting new clothes. {grin}

-I enjoyed 4 different treat days and got back on track when they were over. Enjoying a celebration or day out can stress me out because I can struggle to get back on track. 'One more day' can become my mantra that lasts for months. I love that with Noom you early treat days {1 treat day for every week that you follow the plan} that you can schedule and even save up for a vacation. You are ENCOURAGED to splurge! It was stressful to get back to weighing in after the treat days...but guess what, my day wasn't ruined by a small 'gain' and because I just enjoyed a day, that 'gain' was off within a few days. These 4 treat days have been Saturday and Sunday the past 2 weekends {Easter and Two-Step Inn Festival} - my weight has stayed just about flat since April 1, and I'm mostly ok with that because it means I've practiced good habits. I had to tell myself though 'April might be about learning patience and moderation' more than once!

-I am practicing better moderation with 'treats'. I love that as long as the food fits within your calories and your colors, there are no limits. If I want something, I look at where I am with my colors and sometimes have had to put back what I've wanted because it didn't fit...and that's ok!

-My wedding rings are comfortable again! I don't like when these don't fit, so it's really nice to get them back on.

-My friends/family who know I'm doing this are noticing the weight loss! It is amazing to feel better about yourself, but it also feels amazing when people notice your hard work!

My sister also joined Noom, and I have a co-worker who has followed Noom for awhile, and it's really great to have people to text with about all of this - having community is key!

I'm sure I'm still in the honeymoon phase, and I have a ways to go before I reach my goal...but 2 months in, and I'm feeling really good and positive!

Seeing Red About Gray

***Pulls out soapbox. Turns on microphone.***

Y'all. I have had several people {some more than once} comment on my gray hair and tell me 'I need to get to the salon and get my hair fixed.' These people are then shocked {and sometimes not very happy} to find that I DON'T color my hair on purpose and won't be hiding my gray. And it honestly pisses me off!

Gray hair in all its NATURAL glory

Why are other people so offended when I don't ascribe to their definition of beauty, and - MORE IMPORTANTLY - why is our standard of beauty tied to not showing our age? Why is it their business? 

I have a few reasons for not wanting to color my hair: First, it's expensive and not where I want to spend my disposable income. A family of 5 with 3 kids is expensive, and I can't buy whatever I want. So I would much rather spend my frivolous money on so many other things! Second, it's a losing battle. My hair will only get grayer. It will only need more hair dye and more frequent application. Third, I don't think gray hair is bad, and I don't want my girls to think so either.

I don't say all this to be sanctimonious and act like I'm thrilled to be getting older - I use quite a few serums to combat my wrinkles ha! BUT I just don't get why other people think it's their business about what I do with my hair {or face or body or anything?}. 

I found it very interesting that this was on IG this week!

If only other people would let it be my personal choice!

Noom

It's no secret here that I have struggled with my weight since having Paige. I'm not going to rehash everything now, if you are so inclined you can find more about this rollercoaster I've been on here. I made a goal this year {and many other years} to lose weight, and I wanted to share what I've done to *hopefully* turn that goal into a reality!

I downloaded Noom and have been using it for 2 weeks! I'm very fortunate that my company provides us a 'well-being' allowance each year and the cost of this was covered, yay!

2 weeks in, and I'm really enjoying it and find it easy to follow and use. There are 3 main things I'm doing every day with Noom.

1) Tracking food.

2) Weighing daily.

3) Reading articles about the psychology of eating.

When I do all 3, I get a coin {y'all know I'm all about prizes} and there are things that happen as you earn coins.

1) Tracking food. I actually really like the way Noom tracks food. It feels easy and completely manageable. I have tracked macros and found it to be exhausting, but this feels really doable. 

All foods are lumped into colors - green, yellow, and orange. They purposefully didn't use red because there aren't any colors that are off-limits {which is great for someone who loves 'bad' food}. In a perfect world, you would eat 30% green, 45% yellow, and 25% orange. You can actually eat unlimited green, but I love how they talk about this being boring ha. So what can you eat? 

Your calorie/color category allocation is based up on your gender, age, starting weight, and activity level, and it can increase throughout the day based on how active you are {you get 50% of your calories from movement added back as additional calories you can eat - so if I burn 500 calories, I can eat an additional 250 calories}. You also have a range - if you eat on the low end of the range, your weight loss will be closer to 2 pounds/week, and if you eat on the high end, your weight loss will be closer to .5 pounds/week. I love having that flexibility!

2) Weighing daily. I had mixed feelings about the ask to weigh daily. I find for myself I can get too fixated on a number on the scale and I don't like weighing daily because I get upset when I don't EVERY DAY see the number getting lower {which I know in my brain is unrealistic}. However, it is also easy to bury my head in the sand and ignore the scale...which I have done numerous times and shocker, I've gained back weight with that mindset. And no one is forcing me to get on the scale, I can make the choice to not weigh - I just lose my chance to earn my coin for the day, ha.

3) Reading articles. Every day I have articles to read on the psychology of why we eat. You set the amount of minutes you want to spend each day on articles {again for earning your coins}, and I chose 5-8 minutes. This is usually 2-3 little articles. The articles are part of a broader lesson series. The lessons consist of understanding more about why we eat but also giving practical tips for putting those lessons into use.

The app also has workout plans and hundreds and hundreds of recipes! It is a really well-rounded app that seems to hit all aspects of trying to lose weight. 2 weeks in and I'm very impressed!

Here's a message I got on Saturday after I earned my coin for the day.

See the psychology at work here? Ha!

Now we'll have to see how this actually plays out as the newness wears off, but so far this seems like a great program!

Falling Apart

 My sister told me right before I turned 40 to watch out - something about hitting the big 4-0 and the body starts to fall apart. I internally rolled my eyes at her and thought 'I'm losing weight, eating good, exercising regularly, I'm in the best shape I've been in in a long time, no way is 40 going to hit me hard.'

Well, I should have listened to her.

In the last year plus - shocking - within a few months of turning 40, I've:

• Hurt the right side of my back but luckily got better with stretching, ice, rest but it took months
• Hurt my right shoulder to where I had to do physical therapy
• Hurt my lower back teaching too many classes, still dealing with it
• Hurt the left side of my back GETTING OUT OF THE CAR, thinking I need PT
• Have a failed root canal and am getting it redone TODAY

I probably need to do a separate post just about the dental issues I've had [note to self] because it is A LOT.

I noticed my tooth felt weird on Wednesday night but didn't think too much about it because it felt better on Thursday. Well Friday I woke up in excruciating pain and after a little Google research I was pretty sure I had a failed root canal. When I called the endodontist who had done the first root canal...they couldn't see me until Monday. I literally started to cry and spent several days living off Advil and liquid drinks. Luckily the pain subsided by Halloween, and I've just been uncomfortable since then.

Monday at my appointment, the endodontist agreed with my Google diagnosis, so I get to have a second root canal. 

2017 with my first root canal

Numb faces always make me laugh - and look at how short my hair was!

That's right after I donated it after having Paige.

I really hope my sister's prophecy stops being so accurate - I am not enjoying this AT ALL! {grin}

My Workouts

For the longest time I considered myself an athlete. I ran varsity track in high school, continued running and exercising all throughout college, joined a gym and maintained healthy habits in the early years of our marriage. Then I became a mom and couldn't for the life of me figure out how to be a mom, wife, employee, AND exercise. I didn't recognize myself for a long time - I was out of shape, heavier than I'd ever been, never worked out. 

I tried joining a Gold's Gym Express but missed the group exercise classes and never went. I couldn't motivate myself to do much at home. I joined Orange Theory but found it too repetitive. Then 2 1/2 years ago I discovered Amped Up where I go now and haven't looked back. I am the most active I've been in my adult life and, while I still have some weight I'd like to lose, am super happy with where I am. 

I thought it would be fun to talk about what I do for exercise these days!

• Jazzercise - This used to be all Amped Up offered and is what got me moving again. I did Jazzercise with my mom when I was in college, so I was familiar with the format, and group exercise is definitely my jam. It's choreographed cardio with weight training and SO MUCH FUN. I love that I just have to show up and the awesome instructors have so much energy that you can't help but work hard and have fun.

Getting my 150 class tank on December 31 in 2019!

• Running/Walking - I love taking walks with my wonderful neighbors/ second wives, but I decided to get back into running at the start of the COVID quarantine a year ago. Running used to be my main form of exercise and I hadn't run consistently since getting pregnant with Trent. Fun fact - I ran a Turkey Trot the Thanksgiving I was pregnant with him {5 miles} and HURT for days after. That was the last time I ran for YEARS. Ha! Now I'm running about once a week for 3-5 miles at just over a 10:00 minute/mile pace. Very proud of myself for getting back into this and keeping it up! My last run was Sunday - I went 4 miles at an average of 10:12/mile.

Kelly and me running in HS and in a virtual 5K over the summer

• Body Pump - I can't leave off WHAT I'M CERTIFIED IN!!! I used to do Body Pump all the time pre-kids and love it so much. I love that it is a full body weight workout but you also get your heart pumping. It is such a good workout.

Messing around with 2 other instructors

• Pop Pilates/Body Flow - In the last year I've also started adding in some pilates and yoga. I love that I have seen my flexibility and strength increase through these workouts as well...although the part of me that wants credit for my workouts doesn't like that these don't burn as many calories haha.
• Body Combat - Another class more recently offered at the studio is Body Combat which is cardio kickboxing. It's fun and a killer workout, but I still lean towards Jazzercise the most because that is the MOST FUN. There's also a hip hop dance class called UJAM that I tried once and it was fun but dang am I not coordinated haha.

So that's all my variety of working out! I would say I do anything from 5-7 workouts I week. I try to have Sunday be either yoga/Body Flow or a more relaxed walk, but I love being so much more active now!!

Body Pump

I hinted in my last Currently that I had something exciting going on that I hadn't shared yet over here on the ol' blog. And I finally got the news I was waiting on, so I'm ready to share!

I AM GETTING CERTIFIED TO TEACH BODY PUMP!!!

I have loved group fitness FOREVER, and you guys know I am constantly gushing about my studio, Jazzercise, and the other classes offered there. I've also secretly wanted to be an instructor for a long time - it looks like so much fun and such an amazing group of ladies I wanted to be teaching alongside.

Well, I finally bit the bullet and talked to the owners about it, and here we are!

I had a weekend-long training last weekend where I learned everything I need to know to get certified. I had to submit a video before and after training. The before video was so the instructor could see what my knowledge level was pre-training. The after video determined whether I passed training or not, and I found out Sunday that I passed the training portion!!

I now have 2 months to learn a full-set and record myself teaching that set. I get graded on that video which determines whether I become certified. What is very cool is I get to start teaching with other instructors now, so I've been on the stage a few times getting comfortable and it has been so much fun!

I, of course, had to get approval from my real job and my boss was great about it. I'll be teaching at 5:30 AM once I'm certified {oof, that's early, but honestly it's the best option with a full-time job}, and I can't wait!

Who's going to come to class with me?!?! {grin}

FastSlow-Moving Train: A Weight Loss Update

Things seem to be progressing slowly BUT! still progressing, so I didn't think a post every month was warranted. I decided to go a month and a half between my previous update and this one. I think I'll probably do another update at the beginning of February to get past holidays and the girls' birthdays, so this seemed like a solid time for an update!

In my last update, I mentioned that I weighed 150 at the end of the October. I ended November at 147 {my previous low} and as of yesterday morning, I was 145, a new low!! I am just 2 pounds shy of my pre-Paige pregnancy weight, whoop!

As I do every post, I want to document a few non-scale victories as I know there is so much more to health than just our weight {even if it what I seem to fixate on...as do so many women}:

-I am wearing a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans! I need to lose a little more for them to be really comfortable, but I am so excited to be in these jeans, they are my favorites, and I have missed them so much!

-Working out is continuing to go great! It has become such a habit that I find a way to move almost every day. I also really like that I have a wide variety of workouts I'm enjoying. In the last 2 weeks I have done jazzercise, body pump, pilates, body flow {yoga}, gone on several walks and runs!

-I had my longest run EVER in November! I know I already blogged about this, but I ran 6.5 miles the day after Thanksgiving!

My goals for the next month or so are pretty simple - to enjoy the holidays BUT not let this be an excuse to eat like crazy/backslide. I can very easily let 1 enjoyable day turn into 2 turn into a week turn into a month. I do not want to have guilt over food or resting my body! I want to continue to remain active and get back to truly focusing on losing weight in January, however, I will be really upset if I slide back more than a few pounds. Hello, the march to bathing suit season 2021 is upon us! By my next update, I would also like to be at/below my pre-pregnancy weight which is 143. I know that is only 2 pounds away, but I am giving myself grace over the holidays ha.

Yo-Yo Champion: A Weight Loss Update

I haven't shared a weight loss update since my June update because frankly there hasn't BEEN any weight loss. Sigh. Brent has been saying all along this would take us at least a year to reach our goal weights {I don't know that I've ever shared he's losing weight as well - he's lost about 25 pounds since February!}, and I finally started believing him ha. Realizing I'm only about halfway to where I want to be after 9 months, I decided a graphic was needed. {grin}

Now for the numbers: The lowest I got was at the end of May when I hit 147. Then I spent the summer in a big yo-yo pattern - gain 2, lose 1, gain 4, lose 2 etc. I got all the way back to 156 before reining myself in. A big help has been Emily who challenged me to a weight loss competition. You guys know how I feel about a challenge!

I ended October at 150, so I've lost 6 of the 9 pounds that I've gained! I knew this wasn't going to be easy because I've struggled with this 35 extra pounds for over 3 years. I'm very proud of the fact that I've been working at this for 9 months and yes, I've had some struggles and have backslid, but I HAVEN'T QUIT. 

I've also had some successes worth celebrating!

-I am working out the most and most consistently I have in my adult life. I workout 5-6 days/week {usually 6} EVERY week. A combination of jazzercise, jogging, body combat are my regular. I am really happy with how much I'm exercising and the changes I'm seeing in my body due to this. I'm also stronger and can go further/longer/faster in my workouts!

-I have had several non-scale victories. I have been making some really smart choices when it comes to food. For example, last weekend, we went to a local Biergarten with friends. Instead of getting my own meal, I split one with Paige - we shared a burger and fries. Also, on Halloween, there were 2 instances where I was eating something and thought 'I am not enjoying this.' and I threw the rest away.

-All my pants are a size 6. I took a big bag to Goodwill of my size 8s and 10s! I do have some smaller 6s I'm not in yet but I'm really happy about this! Plus, I feel like a lot of my shirts are fitting better/more flattering.

-I bought some joggers! I have always wanted a pair of joggers and have hated the way they looked on me. I got a pair and love them. I think this is a testament to the changes I'm making in my body.

The big holidays are right around the corner, and I'm a little nervous. I can very easily go off the rails from Halloween through the end of the year {and honestly even longer}. In our family, we have 5 birthdays, numerous Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations, so it's a lot of parties and food. With that said, my goal for November is to lose 4 pounds. I'd like to get below my low from May. Then I'm going to REALLY TRY to maintain that through the end of the year. I'm sure there will be lots of ups and downs over the next 2 months, but I'm hoping this goal will keep me focused on being good when it isn't a party or celebration, ha! Then onward to 2021 to meet the rest of my goal before the summer.

Weight Loss Update

Well, as optimistic as I seem to be...it was bound to happen. I backslid this month and gained back 2 pounds. SOB! I said at the beginning of June that I had a goal to get my eating back under control...well joke's on me because it was worse in June! 

But I do not want to spend the rest of this post beating myself up! It could have been worse, and I do have things to celebrate:

• I have continued to be really active! I do 6 real workouts a week and then try to just move some on day 7 {take a walk, do pilates, etc}. I've stuck with my routine of Jazzercise, Body Combat, and 1 day of jogging. I am so excited though because we just got some Body Pump certified instructors, and I CANNOT wait as that is my ultimate FAVORITE group exercise class.
• I've had more comments from others noticing! It's exciting when people are noticing and commenting on the weight loss being visible. I know it shouldn't be about this outward validation, but I was DEFINITELY an unhealthy size, so this is nice.
• Things still fit great. I am really close to being down another size, and that will be 1 size away from my goal, yay!
• I didn't go back up into another 'decade'. My mother-in-law calls every 10 pounds a decade.  So while I gained a little I stayed in the {high} 140s. I'll take anything at this point ha.
• My BMI has improved! Under a normal BMI calculation, I'm still barely overweight, but I found an updated BMI calculation called 'Smart BMI' which takes a lot more into account, and under this I'm normal. Yay!

My 40th birthday is 4 weeks from today. I weigh 149 pounds, my pre-Paige pregnancy weight was 143. It's going to be a BIG stretch, but I would LOVE it if I could hit my pre-Paige weight by my birthday. Ultimately I want to continue to lose weight, so if I can just get myself going back in the right direction, I'll be happy, but my stretch goal is to lose 6 pounds. Fingers crossed!

Shake Your Body

Another month has come and gone in my march to losing weight before 40. I will say this might be my worst month in terms of eating. I was all over the map with ups and downs, but at the end of the day, I had loss this month, so I'm happy.

I didn't hit my 5 pound goal, but I did lose 3 pounds this month, yay! 

And I put my big girl pants on and decided to man up and just share my stupid numbers. I don't know why I haven't wanted to share other than embarrassment, so no more! I started the month at 150 and ended the month at 147. My pre-Paige weight was 143, so I'm just 4 pounds away from my weight from before getting pregnant with Paige, I am SO excited about it!!! That is a huge milestone for me, so to see that HOPEFULLY by the end of June would be awesome. Then I can set a goal to hit before the big 4-0, eek!

Some successes this month:

- I am consistently working out 6 days/week! I am so proud of myself for this. I am still mostly doing Jazzercise online classes, but our studio has also started doing Body Combat which I do occasionally, and I'm still running once a week. On Sunday {the day I don't workout}, I'm still taking a walk or doing Pop Pilates to at least move my body.

- People are noticing my weight loss! I have gotten comments from people about it - either in person or from co-workers who say they can see it in my face in Zoom calls.

- I am down 2 pants sizes!!

- I feel AMAZING!

My goal for June will stay the same for weight loss - 5 pounds, but I'm going to add a goal to have my eating be cleaner. I just went majorly off the rails a few times this month, and I'm proud I was able to get it back on-track, food is such a slippery slope for me, and I don't want to backtrack.

She's Likes to Move It, Move It

As I reported at the start of April, I didn't hit my goal for what I was hoping to lose for the month of March, but I did lose weight, so I was excited. I set a goal of 5 pounds for April which was more than I lost in March, but I wanted to challenge myself and see if I could do better.

Did I hit my goal? I DID! I lost exactly 5 pounds in April! Whoop!

I am officially the lightest I have been since before I started Zoloft after Paige's birth, and I am 7 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight with Paige. That's not my final goal, but it'll be a huge milestone to get back to that number. I would love it if I could hit that number by the end of the month, but I'm not going to be crazy ha.

Successes:
- I am working out 6 days/week! There are 5 online jazzercise classes through Facebook with my studio. I do them ALL. I miss the instructors, and these are so fun. They aren't quite as long as a normal class, but I love being back with these ladies. My other workout is my Friday morning run. I've been doing this 5 or 6 weeks and am consistently running 3+ miles, and I hope to start getting faster and/or being able to go longer...we shall see!
- I am still tracking macros. I am definitely not perfect with my food, but I am working every day at it - more fruits/vegetables, hitting macros, hitting at or below calories, etc. The days I don't track, I can tell that I eat worse and more than I should.
- I am down a size! I can consistently fit into clothes a size smaller than I've been wearing for 3 years PLUS a few things a size smaller than that!
- My rings are fitting better. I shared a picture Monday of my engagement ring - it doesn't feel GREAT yet, but I can definitely get it on and wear it without it being uncomfortable.

It's so exciting to see how close I am to pre-pregnancy weight!

Goal for May: I am sticking with a goal of 5 pound loss for May. That's what I've averaged since February, so I think it's a solid goal. I also want to keep up my 6 workouts and consistent food tracking. Nothing really new or different for the month - what I'm doing seems to be working haha.

How Low Can I Go? April Weight Loss Update

March is over, and it's time to report on how I did and what my goals are for April!

As of March 1, I had lost 7 pounds, and I was hoping {knowing it was really unrealistic} to lose 8.5 pounds in March. Well, I did NOT lose 8.5 pounds in March, but I did lose 3.5 pounds. While that probably doesn't sound like a lot, I'm actually really happy with that amount, and I'll tell you why.

COVID-19

Being trapped inside my house all day, working full-time, raising 3 children, and trying to help them do school work is stressful. #duh I could have easily used this as an excuse to just let go and eat/drink whatever I wanted. Instead, I decided to view the fact that I have basically no social temptations as my chance to focus on my health goals.

Successes:
-I am exercising consistently 4 times each week. I do jazzercise on demand once, a HIIT workout once, a weight circuit once, and I've been doing a weekend run {well, jog}! I figured now was a good time to switch things up and try some variety. Both of my runs jogs have been just over 3 miles and not quite a 12 minute/mile. Nothing to get excited about, but I'm pretty proud of myself.
-I am mostly tracking my food using My Fitness pal. Am I snacking some? Definitely. Do I care? Nope.
-I am definitely consuming less alcohol!
-I'm not eating fast food. It's hard to get it right now, although some places are delivering, and we are trying to support our local economy where we can, but I've stood strong on this.

End result: I am the lightest I have been in 18 months - I was a little smaller when I finished Faster Way to Fat Loss in August 2018 but gained all that back ha. So I am very happy with where I am - clothes are fitting better, starting to get lose and I can see it when I look in the mirror. Still another 20+ pounds to go, but I'm very encouraged!

Goal for April: 5 pounds! This will probably be my monthly goal every month. I need a little more time to see if I can swing more than that and still feel sane, ha.

And because Emily requested a graph...here you go! {grin}

Skincare: My Newest Crunchy Obsession

As I am really giving 40 the side-eye, I've started focusing more and more on my skin health. I have mixed feelings - On one hand, I want to do ANYTHING to not have wrinkles and age spots or look old. On the other hand, I don't want to do anything that can give me cancer, ha. 

Right now I have a mix of clean and dirty products and am working my way to more and more clean products with the hope that I can really take care of my skin and always look 10 years younger than my age, ha, with the cleanest products possible.

Bodywash - I currently use either Young Living or Dr. Bronner's bar soaps. I'm happy with the clean factor of these products but they definitely aren't anti-aging or anything. Not sure if I care if my elbows look old or not? BUT I do know age spots will start on my hands and my decolletage {romance novels for the win here} so maybe I should care more?

Shampoo/Conditioner - I rotate between different versions of Young Living. They are 2- and 3-rated on EWG, so it's not the top rating {which you'll see below in some other products}, but I'm happy with that.

Facewash - This is where I get a big, fat F. I have oily-skin and even at 39, I'm prone to acne. I use a Neutrogena face wash that is a 10 on Think Dirty {an app that tracks how clean, 1, or dirty, 10, your products are}. SO BAD.

BUT there is hope here! I just bought a Beautycounter charcoal cleansing bar that is for oily skin. [Beautycounter are insanely clean products, like everything is EWG verified, and I'm really excited to trying out their skincare and make-up. The problem is...they aren't cheap. So I can't just do a 180 and get everything from them, which is what I'd like to do.] I'm starting out slowly here and using it just at night. If I don't break out, I'll increase to mornings too!

Lotion - Our whole family uses a Young Living body lotion, but we don't use lotion too often as it's got a higher rating for a YL product [4]. A lot of times I also use coconut oil for the kids mixed with an essential oil - for example coconut oil mixed with lavender oil is great for Trent's winter eczema.

Wrinkle Cream/Eye Cream - I currently use a couple of Young Living products - one is a daytime lotion and one is a wrinkle cream that is a little thicker so I use it at night. As far as I can tell, they both fall in the 'good not great' range, so I will be slowly moving these over to Beautycounter as well. I just got 1 Beautycounter product in their Countertime line {their anti-aging line}, so it's too soon to tell what I think, but my BFF has the whole line and LOVES it.

Deodorant - Another one from Young Living [2 rating on EWG], but I have others I want to try with the top pick being Native. I think this is something you just need to switch around ever so often, and I'm excited to have several clean options. Years ago I used to sweat SO bad, I have a really funny story that I might share here one day that highlights how bad my sweating was in college. Well, a friend of mine told me about Certain Dri and how amazing it was. I tried it and sure enough, it COMPLETELY stopped me from sweating. I used it a couple of times a week and it was magic. You know why? It's CHOCK FULL OF ALUMINUM. I seriously used this for probably a DECADE. Now I don't sweat to the same degree I did in college - and I'm hoping it's not because I've somehow poisoned myself so badly my body can't recover - but I'll gladly take some pit funkiness over...you know...cancer.

Makeup:
Foundation - This is where I majorly struggle! I love using a mineral powder but my 2 favorites - Bare Minerals and a Neutrogena one from Target - both rate a 7 on Think Dirty sooo...not great. I switched to a Young Living version, rated a 1 on EWG, but I don't love it. It seems to need twice as much to provide decent coverage, which I'm not crazy about. I've heard good things at W3LL PEOPLE, so I want to try it soon. Beautycounter doesn't have a mineral foundation currently, but I'm hopeful they might someday!
Lipgloss - I use Burt's Bees Wax constantly, I am 100% addicted to it. Luckily it's super clean. When I want some color, I add Jane Iredale lipgloss which is also super clean. I bought some at my annual Lake Austin Spa trip with my mother-in-law 2 years ago and then this year I bought another color and also tried their mineral foundation - I figured if the lip gloss was super clean the powder would be too...nope, ugh.
Blush/Eyeshadow - I found ones I REALLY like from Young Living that are a mineral powder, yay! And rated 2s on EWG!
Mascara/Eyeliner - Is it bad that I don't care about these 2 at all? Any grocery store or pharmacy brand works for me, ha.

I might do a post after I've been using Beautycounter for a while {or other products I try that are known for being 'clean} to see how they stack up. I know Young Living and Beautycounter have representatives and are MLM companies, but I just want to use clean products!

Was this interesting or terribly boring? I find this stuff fascinating and love learning about clean products, so hopefully I didn't bore anyone...and if you made it to through this long and rambly post, I owe you a prize!

Dangle That Carrot

One thing I've figured out about me is my favorite type of competition is to compete against...myself. 

If I'm playing cards or a board game, sure it's fun to win, but I don't get upset if I lose. If I'm playing sports, I'm so nervous I'm going to mess-up, I usually try to avoid any action and not have anybody notice me. I don't really get this trait of mine because I normally LOVE to be the center of attention, but NOT when it comes to sports. I was great at defense in basketball, but as soon as I got the ball, I was trying to pass it away. In volleyball, I prayed the ball never came near me. Even as an adult, when we play sloshball, I'm so nervous when it's my turn to kick and pray the ball goes everywhere else when I'm in the outfield.

However, when I have a set of goals and the only thing I'm trying to do is prove that I can do something...I'm all in. Prime Examples: completing Whole 30 twice, Drew's unmedicated birth {Do you know how many people told me I wouldn't be able to do it? Oh yeah, watch me!}, using cloth diapers {same story}. Just give me a goal that's all about ME achieving something, and I'm your girl.

Enter...Jazzercise competitions! I've mentioned this before, but I'm participating in a summer challenge with a partner to get 80 classes together between June and July, and you better believe I've been obsessively counting my classes and making sure we'l hit it to win that prize. The prize? A bag. Is it about the bag? Not even 1%. I want to FINISH THE CHALLENGE. {There was one in February that I didn't compete in that I'm still mad about.}

Wouldn't you do jazzercise 6 times/week for this bag? {grin}

There's also a challenge to hit 150 classes in a calendar year. This challenge happens every year. And you can win...a tank top. But what does that tank top represent? That I crushed that goal. I started out the year slow, so I basically need to go 4 times/week the rest of the year to get there. Think I'll make it? You can bet I'm going to do everything I can to make it happen.

Keeping my eye on this prize!

Is anyone else like this? Only competitive with yourself? Or am I just a weirdo? Ha!

Spotlight on 2019 Goals: Lose the Weight Already

I wanted to do a deep dive on a few of my 2019 goals for a few reasons: 1) so I wouldn't forget about them, 2) to explain some of why they were goals, and 3) to *hopefully* keep me accountable. 

Brent is reading the subject of this post and laughing hysterically at me. I'm not going to write a long, drawn-out excuses riddled commentary, but it boils down to: First, I love bad food but know a lot about food so I'm not dumb about what I'm doing to my body and second, I have almost no willpower. I can do good for a little while {for example, 2 rounds of Whole 30, my Faster Way to Fat Loss experience} but always end up sliding back into my old, bad habits.

The backstory on my current weight - I'm not ready, and may never will be, to share a number - is this: when we got pregnant with Paige, I was about 10-15 pounds heavier than where I like to be. After delivering Paige, thanks to post-partum, I lost all of my pregnancy weight by around the time I started Zoloft. By the time I got off Zoloft, I had gained 30 pounds {one of the lovely side effects} putting me a whopping 45 pounds above my happy weight. Fast forward 18 months and I've lost 10 of those pounds and yo-yo'd up and down another 10. It's MADDENING {at myself} haha.

So...with all that said...what am I going to do about it?

1) The one good thing I'm doing is jazzercise. I love going and am going consistently twice a week. I'm going to stick with twice a week for the cardio and am going to add weights 2 days a week - my sister showed me these online workouts where 1 day focuses on arms and another legs/core. I don't love working out and know it isn't the most important factor to weight loss. It's great for my heart, blood pressure, etc. etc. but this is never going to be the focus of my life.

2) I had really good success with macro tracking and carb cycling during the Faster Way to Fat Loss and am going to do that again. It was a touch strict, but was working, because I lost 10 pounds in 6 weeks. I don't think following it EXACTLY is a lifestyle I could maintain, but with a few tweaks it totally could be and for weight loss it really works.

That's basically it, ha. Goal #1 is a few months out, but I'd like to lose 15 pounds by Memorial Day weekend - the unofficial start to summer and I know we will be in the pool that weekend if not earlier. That's 10 weeks away, so that should be doable! Goal #2 is another 10 pounds by the end of summer and goal #3 is another 10 by the end of the year - gradually getting a little less strict to try and find a lifestyle I can manage.

I'm thinking I'll share updates maybe monthly? I don't want to go overboard posting about this topic, but I know accountability is a big factor to success.

Finally...here we go!

The FASTer Way to Fat Loss

I don't want to be one of those whiny women that complain about feeling fat and gross as she eats donuts, but if the shoe fits... {grin}

Within about 8 weeks of Paige's arrival, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight - which was about 15 pounds heavier than I wanted to be - but that was largely due to my post-partum anxiety. I was so anxious I couldn't eat. Brent would bring home anything he thought might entice me to eat, but it would take me hours to force anything down. I don't recommend PPA as a weight loss plan since it is the worst experience I've had the pleasure of repeating 3 times, but it certainly took the weight off!

Unfortunately, when I started Zoloft, the side effects caused me to gain weight. I didn't really care when I first started gaining weight because I was so happy to feel better, but 30 pounds later, I wasn't happy anymore!

It's been 9 months since I realized how much weight I'd gained, and I fluctuate between having lost 10-15 pounds. That's IT. Yes, I'm happy to have lost weight, but I'm definitely NOT happy with my weight. 

Food, as always, is my problem.

I've been exercising at Orange Theory Fitness for about the same 9 months and jogging some at home. BUT bad food is my downfall. I honestly believe I know more than the average person about food and what is good for us and what is bad. I just have no ability to execute - I do not know how to teach myself moderation. Alcoholism runs in my dad's side of the family, and I think food, and really sugar, is my vice {and I don't say that in jest}.

All that to say...I've joined a 6-week program - this week is a prep week -  that combines:

• intermittent fasting - I'll eat 8 hours in a 24-hour period
• carb cycling - some days are low carb, some days are regular
• macro counting - I've never done this before and hate tracking food, but I've heard once you get in a habit of it, it becomes really natural. And we're using the My Fitness Pal app which has been really user-friendly and easy so far
• variety of exercise - some days are interval training, some are heavy weight days, all depending on the type of food day we're having - I do plan to continue with Orange Theory, so we'll see how that all works

Yesterday was my first day to follow the low-carb rules, and I didn't hit my categories for anything - too few carbs, too little fat, too little protein - but I know it's a learning curve, and I'll get there. I was really hungry at bedtime which is NOT supposed to be the norm, and I'm excited that there are only 2 low carb days - definitely makes it feel manageable. It's also cool because the creator talks a lot about how there are no foods that are off-limits. There are days you can't have things - like no/very little fruit on low carb days - but if you want a donut on a regular day, you can have it. The saying is 'if it fits my macros' ha. I'm hopeful that this is how I can finally learn balance...eek, time shall tell!

The program ends the day before my 38th birthday, and I hope to see really good results. And that I don't let my birthday derail me, ha! I will probably give an update at the halfway point and the end, so we shall see!