Sunday, February 8, 2015

Grammy Awards 2015 Fashion Police...The Year of My Pet Peeve

The Grammy Awards aren't my favorite for fashion. It usually means dress creative {or to me...weird}, and the people who play it safe get considered boring. But I definitely still enjoy looking at the celebrities. 

But MAN...this year was apparently the year of the inner boob. I firmly believe it is almost impossible to successfully display the inner boob correctly. Hey ladies, newsflash, as we age, the girls begin to droop. Gravity is a b*tch. And if you've had a baby...forget about it. Yet women {well, celebrities...no real woman that I know!} continue to think they can do it. Let me just say...DON'T! Unless you have a small-ish bust it is sure to be a disaster and not sexy.

Let's take a look at what I mean by comparing Ashanti to Beyonce.


Ashanti's breast look lopsided and uneven. Her right breast looks significantly bigger and droopier than her left. I look at her and think WTF?? However, Beyonce looks much better - her breasts are smaller and she's probably using really good tape. {grin}


Anna Kendrick
There is another disclaimer to my inner boob rule - if you have NO boobs, this look also isn't for you. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as an attractive clavicle.

Gina Rodriguez
I like this because she isn't showing any boob but you can tell she has them!

Iggy Azalea
Probably the best inner boob of the night. Too bad she looks like Heidi gone Fancy. 

Katherine McPhee
She's barely showing ANY inner boob which is the best way to do it.
Too bad the dress is super wrinkled, and her hair is way boring. 

Kim Kardashian
I don't have the energy to dissect this mess of a dress, so let's focus on the inner boob.
For a mom, she's got amazing inner boob {Did she have work done?}, I just think her girls are too big to pull this off normally.

Lady Gaga
Could.they.be.smushed.down.any.harder? They.are.about.to.pop.out. Yuck.

Nicki Minaj
Crooked. {And I hate sheer/fringey bottom panels so she gets another ding.}

Paris Hilton
First off, why is she at the Grammy's?
Second, is she trying to look like a mermaid with all the sequins and hair extensions?
Third, does she have breasts or pectoral muscles?

****Okay, rant about inner boob over. Let's look at a few more dresses!****

Chrissy Teigen
O.M.G. Underboob? Are you freaking kidding me? 

Courtney Cox
Not digging her dress or her overall look.
The 'bow-tie' at the top of the dress is too juvenile for someone in their 50s.
Her hair is blah and her make-up is washed out. Also, her looks old, right?

Gwen Stefani
This is the right amount of unique for me for the Grammy's.
I just wish her make-up was a little brighter. Where are  her signature red lips?

Jessie J 
Does anyone else feel like all you can see are her granny panties?

Katy Perry
Too much! Big earrings, fringe on the whole dress, purple hair, sheer {see the granny panties?}... Love her make-up though!

Meghan Trainor
Meh. I think I would have liked it better if it had just been really short with no long overskirt.

Miley Cyrus 
Less is more - I think a few less cutouts would have been good.
And actually fixing her hair and make-up. 
{Although if you saw her dad's hair at the Grammy's...ah...it makes sense!}

Dave Grohl
I just love him and think he's a genius. I love that he probably just wore the outfit he'd been wearing all day {or maybe for a few days}.

Pharrell
Adidas couture? Um, can we say camel toe?

Now onto my favorites!

Jennifer Hudson
Short and sexy with great accessories. Love her pink lips!

Miranda Lambert
1 little pop of color and just a little bit of cutouts. Relaxed hair but great make-up.
Love it! 

Rihanna
Totally off-the-wall for me but she's so beautiful in it!
And she doesn't overdo such a bold dress with crazy hair or make-up.

Taylor Swift
Her body is FIERCE, and she always looks great.
I love the color and bold shoes, and her hair and make-up is great.

And besides all the bad inner boob above...my least favorites!

Madonna
Question: At what point does a 56 year-old 'artist' need to dress more appropriately?
Answer: About 10 years ago.

Sia 
I'm sure there's some meaning behind her wigs, but I don't get it.
{And I also didn't get her performance so maybe I am just an idiot.}

What did you think of Grammy fashion?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just have to say I have ALWAYS loved your fashion comments and your blog in general!

Kathryn Bagley said...

Yay Taylor made the cut :) Also dying on your Paris comments..they do look like pecs!! And Kim K-not just no but HELL no!! Just because you are with the biggest douche doesn't mean you can wear whatever you want and think you look cute!

Misty, Handbags + Handguns said...

Nicki's boobs looked even when she was being interviewed by Ryan Seacrest. But there is nothing worse than uneven, smashed or droopy boobs.

The only thing I strongly disagree with is Anna. I love it!

Karen M. Peterson said...

I pretty much hate all Grammys fashion, which is why I don't watch music award shows. Too ick.

And underboob is totally worse than inner boob!

Kelly said...

LOVE the fashion posts!! I loved Miranda Lambert and Taylor Swift too. Least favorite....Kim Kardashian....what was that?!?!