Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Changing OBs

Warning: This is a long, rambling post. Read at your own risk.

Very often Always, I am a typical little sister. When I don't know what to do, I ask my big sis what she did. And if it was good enough for her, it is good enough for me. So when B and I got pregnant 4 years ago (almost exactly! just realized that!), I went with the OB she had picked. (The OB Patty and I saw in college and our early married years stopped doing OB, so we needed a new doc.) I had a very normal, low-risk pregnancy and a pretty normal delivery. At the time, I thought my delivery was all complicated and crazy and how happy I was to not end up needing a c-section. Since having T, I have learned that my situation was all too common.  

Oh? You're 40 weeks? Let's induce that baby! We'll put you on a Pitocin drip, we'll break your water, we'll get you an epidural. And maybe you can have your baby vaginally...but probably not.

I now know how lucky I was that my delivery ultimately ended the way I wanted.

Fast forward a few years, and I've learned A LOT. {If B is reading this, I know he's rolling his eyes.}  I used to be so mainstream (which is not a bad thing), but the more I learn, the more un-mainstream I become. And I'm proud of it! So I found myself knocked up again.  And still with the same OB. And confused about what I wanted out of this experience with Baby Gurl. I've been watching a lot of documentaries and learning a lot about the practice of obstetrics in the US compared to other countries. I've been learning about hospital births vs. birthing centers vs. home births. {Yes, I would deliver in a birthing center. No, Brent will not go for that. To quote him: 'I am a regular guy who goes along with all your hippie requests. This is 1 request too many.'}

I've also felt ignored at my doctor's office. Yes, I'm low risk and healthy, but when EVERY appointment is at a minimum 30 minutes late (and sometimes closer to an hour and a half) and my doctor is always rushed (if even at my appointment), it's hard to not question the level of care being received.

When you combine those 2 things together, I've felt very conflicted the last few weeks. Part of me feels like things worked out with Trent, and I'm smarter now and can use that to my advantage and why rock the boat. But part of me feels like I don't have a doctor who cares as much as I'd like and is a little too mainstream for my taste. And it was stressful thinking about that and closing in on the 3rd trimester.

So I contacted a few other local mommy friends and got a recommendation for a new OB and got assurances that it wouldn't be bad to change doctors this late in a pregnancy.  I had a meet-and-greet with the practice (they have a very small practice of only 1 OB and 1 midwife) and spent more time with them in my meet-and-greet than with my old OB my entire pregnancy with Baby Gurl. I was able to talk with them about my 'typical' delivery with Trent and what I hoped would happen this time around.  When the response was 'That's pretty much our normal protocol', I knew I had found my new doctor.

New OB recommended I sleep on it and wait a few days before making a decision, which I did. However, when, 2 days later, my 28 week appointment took an hour and 20 minutes for me to see my doctor for 4 minutes, that was the final nail in the coffin. The very next day I 'fired' my old OB and set my 30 week appointment with my new OB. And I am beyond thrilled. I cannot wait for my next appointment (which I already know is designed to give me 30 MINUTES with the doctor or midwife).  I have a ton of questions! And am writing a birth plan (which I totally rolled my eyes at with Trent)! And can't wait for one of these 2 amazing ladies to delivery our daughter!

So there you have it...the whys behind my decision to switch OBs at 28 weeks. Hopefully that somewhat made sense! I still have a few things to talk over with B - including him...you know...meeting the new doctor, but he has been completely supporting of me switching doctors, and I honestly finally feel so at peace!


the blogivers said...

I'm sure it feels like a big weight has been lifted off your shoulders! While I consider myself very mainstream, I do hate the aspect of not feeling like a priority when you go to a big practice (case in point: my horrible follow-up appointment after the miscarriage)... anyway, glad you found someone that will be a better fit for baby #2 :)

Shannon Sentences said...

I commend you for having the strength and resolve to make a change! I thought about it late in my first pregnancy (like 34 weeks) but chickened out. I ended up having a fantastic labor and delivery thanks to my doula and my husband, but I know I'll do things differently next time around. Good luck, and I know the choice must give you peace!

KristenW said...

Proud of you and am so happy for you!