Tuesday, June 9, 2020


The last few weeks have been very heavy on my heart and in my head. I'm sure it's been the same way for most of you. I've spent a lot of time immersed in Instagram looking at Black activist's pages and soaking in a lot of information and being silent. 

I feel cautiously optimistic that maybe we are really on the cusp of something huge for our society that will impact generations to come. I so hope we are! 

I've had a goal the last 2 years to read books specifically about anti-racism and books written by POC {people of color}. But past reading and talking with friends and having discussions with Trent, I hadn't really DONE anything {although working with our children is something all parents need to be doing, so I am not discounting that}. I don't intend to use my blog as a way to pat myself on my back for the work I do but as a way to keep myself accountable and also {hopefully} exchange ideas with you guys of things you're doing. 

I have 2 main reasons I didn't do any actual work the past few years - 1) I was confused about what to actually DO and 2) I was scared I would mess up - say the wrong thing, speak when I shouldn't, etc. Over the past couple of weeks I've realized I don't have to {and can't} solve all the problems in 1 day or do it alone, so getting started and taking my first steps is doing something, and I've realized I AM going to mess up - it's going to happen and what I need to do is remain humble and it'll be a good chance to practice apologizing the right way ha.

Later this week or maybe next week, I plan to post about the things I have done to-date and things I plan to do in the future. I hope you will leave some comments with suggestions so that we can all learn and grow together! I also have some other thoughts I'm figuring out how to put into words...not quite there yet but hopefully soon!

I really hope we can grow as people, as a society, as a global village to make our world a better place, and I'm committed to doing my part!


Kathryn Bagley said...

I've been thinking about you a lot during this time-solely because I know where your heart has been on this issue by reading your blogs. I have to be honest that I have been confused during this time. I don't consider myself "privileged" because in no way do I think I am better than anyone or that the color of my skin has anything to do with how I am treated. But I've been watching and paying attention to my surroundings and reading what's being posted on facebook and maybe I am? I don't know..I do find myself thinking if I see someone with their pants hanging down or being loud and obnoxious "ghetto" comes to mind. But I say the same thing if it were a white person exhibiting the same behavior. Part of that is I work with juveniles who want to act hard and portray something they aren't. I have had a hard time dealing with this and have stayed quiet and it makes me a little mad those that say negative things about "us that are being silent". I don't necessarily feel I need to say anything-if that makes sense. It doesn't mean I'm not listening and thinking. I've probably written more than I should on your comment page..ha! Prob better to email you!

Emily said...

I’m so proud of you and so happy that you are doing this. I am a white woman in America and therefore I have privilege, and these last few weeks have challenged me with the extent of my privilege (things I’d never thought of before). I agree it’s hard to know the right things to say because we don’t want to say the wrong things, but I know as you do that White Silence is the worst of them all, so I’m with you! I’m excited to learn more from you as you journey through this. (This felt like a pep rally comment lol)

Dee said...

Allena, I have always enjoyed reading your blog... but today, I just wanted to comment and say thank you for having a sincere heart regarding this issue and being willing to understand a perspective outside of your own. I know this issue is multi-faceted and there are a lot of emotions surrounding this topic. It's easy to want to be silent when you aren't sure what to say, but seeing you speak up anyway means a lot to people like me. I don't have all of the answers, but I am more than happy to talk with you if you want a safe space to ask any uncomfortable questions or hear from the perspective of this Black person. Continued blessings to you and your family. :)