I {duh} love being a mom and love my babies; it just takes me awhile to find my new normal. What ends up suffering is me. I feel like right now I am a shell of myself.
I can't seem to find the time to really be me - I don't shower every day, I hardly ever fix my hair or put on makeup. Everything I am reading right now is related to vaccines and nap routines. (Brent says if he hears the word 'nap' one more time he is going to lose it. Hee hee.) My blog is only about my children right now...when I do blog. And don't even ask how much time I spend with Brent. Or my friends.
If I hadn't already been through this with Trent, I'd be a little worried. But I managed to find me again after having him, so I know the same thing will happen...eventually. Right?
I think part of the problem is that I'm not back at work. I hate that I have to work, but that isn't the point of this post. Right now, I'm not in my 'routine', so it's like I'm just biding my time a little bit. I don't know what to do with my days because normally I work! And it breaks my heart to think about Drew in daycare, but I've dropped 1 baby off for their 'first day' already, and he's still going there and thriving, so I know I can do it.
The good part is little-by-little I am adjusting. I have felt amazing the past 10 days. Brent and I have 2 dates planned during May.
There really is no point to this post...I just felt like I had to put these feelings 'on paper'. I'm so ready to find me again...I think we're getting there. At least I hope we are!
5 comments:
Keep blogging your heart out any time you need to! It can be a big help!
You are doing fantastic. Keep it up!
Everything will level off and be just fine. B
It sounds like you're doing great, even if it's not easy. You are awesome!
Yep...just the normal "my day revolves around feedings and poop" feelings. You'll get out of it...and then slump back into it...and get out of it again :)
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