Tuesday, March 7, 2017
I've been taking Zoloft for just over 2 weeks. I would say I am definitely better than I was when I started but I'm not where I want to be yet. The mornings are still really tough with my anxiety very high. A lot of times I wake up between 5:00 and 6:00 and lay there feeling like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. Not really a great way to start out each day! The side effects are also no fun, but I'm powering through them, and they're starting to lessen. I actually have more of them this time around than when I took Zoloft with Trent which I find interesting. Although I did start out on a higher dose this time, so that might explain it?? I just keep reminding myself that I've done this twice before and know it's for a limited time and that I'll never have to do it again. Thinking about having another baby makes me ill, ha! I'm trying not to wish away Paige's newborn time because it really is so special to watch her discover the world, but I also want to feel like myself again. It's hard to be scared of everything, and that's what the anxiety does to me - it makes me scared all the time - scared to be alone with the kids, scared to go places, scared of bad naps, etc. I have to remember that postpartum is an illness, so I can't beat myself up for how I feel. That's tough. But I know I'll get through and come out stronger...eventually!